When you have Covid and you’re feeling crap…

Published February 10, 2021 by Laura Crean Author

So my writing has basically dried up again and that usually has something to do with the fact that I am ill in one way or another, because I basically feel like I am a walking medical encyclopaedia, if it isn’t one thing it’s another, physical and mental, certainly for the last couple of years and really my whole life to be honest I am the kind of person that get’s sick, it seems, at the drop of a hat. I was a very sickly child, always off school with colds. I was a very premature baby, a tiny baby, weighing only about 2lbs I believe, when I was born my Mum used to joke that they had a tiny pippet of a bottle and she used to hold me in one hand, bring her thumb round to open my mouth to put the tiny teat in. I mean I don’t know, tiny baby? Don’t know what happened there, I’m more of an elephant these days! I certainly was in the special care baby unit for a long time, I don’t know whether that effected me with bonding issues, but anyway that’s for another day.

I have a memory of being about 5 or 6 and being in the school first aid room, they had a Russian doll in there which I just loved to play with, so maybe that’s why I was there? But I do remember my Mum picking me up and being a bit cross that she had to come and get me again! I mean, I don’t know, I remember I was feeling sick, so didn’t know what I was supposed to do about that? The next time I remember her really being cross, is when she came and picked me up from school aged about 14 because I thought I was having a heart attack! It was a very stressful situation, I was trying to make people believe I was psychic and could read their lines on their hands and had dug myself into a hole and now realised I looked even more stupid than usual. So, thinking back on that one now, I wonder whether it was actually a panic attack! I had also had to stay home during the exams that year because I had some kind of flu – nothing unusual for me! So when most people get a cold, or get a bit sick, it’s just that, but I feel like I must be like a man who has man flu, because everything I get seems to affect me 100 times worse, even my periods have caused me a ridiculous amount of problems this last ten years. My sister used to say I was a hypochondriac, but I used to say, doesn’t that mean I’m pretending to be sick? But I am sick so I can’t be one of those can I?

So, I’ve been working as a Care Worker for the past 5 years, It’s the longest time I have ever been in one job for an employer, so I must be good at it at least. I love all my clients, but for the last couple of years I have had a lot of sickness, with one thing and another, a lot of which really leaves me scratching my head as to what on Earth is going on with me! Anyway, so I haven’t been long off work with a terrible inner ear infection, which gave me a bout of horrible vertigo symptoms, and my 16 year old daughter who is doing her college education at home because of lockdown, had to come and walk me home from my job because I couldn’t walk and then I was off for I don’t know how long now, I’ve lost the plot – a week maybe and then I had a text from the NHS saying I had tested postitve for Covid (we do weekly tests as carers). I was actually stunned when I got the text, because I felt well. I thought, maybe it’s a mistake, or I just won’t have symptoms, which I thought, for me would be strange, as I said, usually I get everything ten times worse than everyone. So I let work know I had to self-isolate, and thought, they are not going to be happy as I have only just come back. Then what do you know, the very next day, last Wednesday, the 3rd of February 2021, a week ago today, 2 days before my 48th birthday, I start feeling the symptoms.

Of course, I needn’t have doubted, I’ve had a terrible week. I have basically spent much of it sleeping on and off – fever-filled – fitful kind of sleep, where your body just hurts but you can’t really describe why it hurts or where it hurts, you just hurt, aching all over, drenched in sweat, head aches, feeling sick, not being able to taste my food, runny nose, cough etc. basically feeling horrible. I am still feeling absolutely horrid – so what’s new? Seems to be the story of my life the last couple of years, and Covid is only part of it, but anyway…So today I have Diarrhoea, I know that’s pleasant isn’t it – thought this would lighten the mood – so I’m chatting to my daughter on the phone telling her how crap I feel and low and behold I coughed and shat myself! And I told her how it was, I was like, you know what I just shat myself so I think I better go and clean myself up! And we both laughed about it. I mean if you can’t laugh under such disgusting circumstances there’s no hope for humanity is there? The only other positive today was the guy on the other end of the 111 call I made, he sounded absolutely lovely, could have listened to him all day…daydream over, sleeping for England at the moment so not really sure when I’m dreaming and when I’m awake. Need the loo – Oh! Must be awake then! I know, I know, I’ve got crap coming out of me every which way.

Who needs ‘Randonautica’ when you have God guiding your path?

Published November 7, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

Join me on an adventure to find ‘peace’ – in this video, I explore the new craze of Randonauting. I didn’t download the app but please watch my adventure anyway as I did find some interesting coincidences that I stumbled across on my little adventure. or skip to the last 13 minutes of the video to hear my thoughts on Randonautica and some of the experiences people have had with it. I also include a few bible verses, so if it is your thing you can grab a bible as you follow along. Otherwise, just grab a cup of tea and be my companion on my journey. Here are the links to the videos I had watched that led me to have an adventure and explore where God took me…

positive Randonauting videos:-

Finding Happiness Randonautica experience – they found God and a puppy! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF36V…

Positive manifesting of fairies and butterflies – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fl9S…

Follow the white rabbit… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhxX5…

Manifesting happy/positive experiences – (law of attraction!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-Tq6…

The happy girl and lots of PURPLE FLOWERS and Owls! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e0i8…

Fairy Princess adventure with a purple dragon!!! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3KvJ…

guy taken to a well! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8Xsr…

A sermon I had been watching during the time I was also led to the Randonauting videos (reminded about “A little bird told me”) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpfMT…

To buy my fantasy adventure novel “The Realm of the Purple Dragon” – https://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Realm-Of…

To buy my artwork “Oh God my Rock” that you may have spotted hidden in the middle of the video – https://www.redbubble.com/i/photograp…

More artwork on different products (i.e. Merch) – https://www.redbubble.com/people/Laur…

My blog – https://lauracrean.wordpress.com/

The Well in the Garden on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/welinthegard…

The Realm of the Purple Dragon on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/The-Realm-of…

Laura’s Arts and Crafts on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/Laurasartsan…

Laura Crean – Poet on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/Laura-Crean-…

My Twitter – https://twitter.com/Saucergirl

A ‘Time’ Miracle and possible Angelic Visitation

Published October 31, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

This is where I tell you about a strange encounter I had this week with God, a possible angelic visitation, and a miracle involving ‘time’. Yes, I do ramble, but it’s worth it I promise – there’s a message here and it may be for you!

An excerpt from “Dawn’s Greeting” by Laura Crean

Published October 24, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

An excerpt from Dawn’s Greeting – Sharra’s monologue to Kelly about the gifts of the Spirit…

Note – This book, this science-fiction, fantasy novel is a little bit of a thought experiment on what Christians could look like in the far off distant future, if they are still here. I’m talking hundreds of thousands of years. For a little context to the story, Sharra and Kelly are, what I call in the book, Dawn Children. Kelly is born in our time but has been born with a special gift and is “harvested” by the Dawn Children, taken out of her time into the future to be trained as a Dawn Child because of her gift.

Kelly asks Sharra, “What is my purpose? What does God want from me? And Sharra tells her:

“What he wants for all his children; that you live your life and live it to the full, using the gifts that he has given you for the good of all, in peace, in unity, as one body, one family in him, loving each other as we love ourselves. When one suffers, all suffer! If humanity doesn’t learn this lesson it will never thrive. It will continue to get sick and this sickness affects not just humanity but the planet, the ecosystem – it will die – humanity will die!

“God loved each of us enough to become one of us and share in our suffering as a man, and not only share it, but bare it all for us as Christ on the cross, because he knew that we couldn’t get through it alone – so he bore it for us so that through him we would become more than our individual suffering. We could feed on him! Draw on his strength! He is our cure! He gives us his strength each day, to live as one body. We use the link we have with him and through him to support each other – together we are stronger.

“Your gifts are what make you unique. We each have different gifts, each as a member of his body – a hand, a foot, a mouth, a heart etc. One of your gifts is, it seems, the ability to live in the moment – it is a way to observe. To be still and see the whole picture – what is coming in that moment (that others may not notice), and how to use all you see in that moment. The flow of time is just an illusion really; it is just made up of an infinite now!! But we live too fast to see the whole picture. You have the ability to step into eternity and just be, and that is a rare gift. I believe God wants you to see things from his perspective for just a moment – see it all a little clearer, so that you can step in and use that insight – that vision – to do something wonderful. He will only give you the knowledge so that you can use it for the good of all – so use it wisely!”

Thanks everyone. Please don’t forget to like and share with your friends. Having encouragement will give me the drive to continue writing and eventually publish.

God bless you all

❤ Laura ❤

Sharing a sample of my work in process – genre fantasy/Sci-Fi…

Published September 30, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

Dawn's Greeting current cover


Break up your unploughed ground

and do not sow among thorns…”

Jeremiah 4:3

But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil…”

Matthew 13:23

Ronald got up from his daughter’s bedside and wandered over to the window of the private isolation room his daughter had been occupying for the past 2 days. He gazed out at the stars and prayed to God to send a doctor that could help his little girl. Angela had fallen asleep with her head in her hands, on the bed by Kelly’s hand clutching her bible and rosary, so that she would feel even the slightest movement when her daughter awoke from her coma. The room was deathly quiet.

A doctor came into the room a little after midnight. Ronald turned to see who had entered and noted that she looked very young. Surely, he thought, she couldn’t even be in her twenties! Barely any older than his own child asleep on the bed he stood by. He assumed she was a student.

Good evening. It’s a bit late for student doctors isn’t it?” He quizzed her. The young woman seemed amusingly distracted by his question. “What makes you think I am a student Mr Kemp?” Ronald shrugged. “Well I, I don’t know.” He stammered, “You just look, well, you just look too young to be a qualified doctor.”

The young woman smiled and even though she was wearing a surgical mask, her whole face lit up with the smile and It was infectious. He couldn’t help but return a smile, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do at that moment. She was so beautiful. Almost angelic, he mused. He considered to himself that she should be a model and not a doctor. “Well I am flattered, but I can assure you Mr Kemp that I am more than qualified to care for your daughter.” And he had no doubts at all that she was.

The young looking doctor walked across the room and lifted Kelly’s notes from their position at the end of her bed. Glancing through them briefly and then checking her hand held monitor. She tutted, and then looking at her watch, added some notes of her own to both the paper record and the electronic one. Then she took Kelly’s pulse, temperature and blood pressure, adding these results to the notes also and then nodded to herself. Ronald watched all of this with quiet interest and then said gently, “I’m sorry doctor but I don’t think we’ve been introduced yet. We normally have a Doctor Price.”

The young doctor put down Kelly’s notes and raised her gloved hand up for Ronald to shake it, “Oh I do apologise, sorry! Where are my manners? Doctor Sharra Dawn. I’m here to assess Kelly for her transfer.” Ronald shook his head in ignorance and confusion, “Transfer? What transfer? We haven’t been told anything about a transfer!”

Sharra smiled again, almost melting Ronald’s heart. She must be an angel surely! He laughed to himself as her charm seemed to hold him in a captivated trance. Sharra cleared her throat, “Well, it really is the best thing for her at the moment, in her present condition. It is best if she is placed in absolute isolation in the coma hospital.” Again Ronald shook his head in ignorance, “Coma hospital? What coma hospital?”

Of course until they had changed history, there had indeed been no such thing as this coma hospital, and his mind glitched a little as it received the updated time-line and he suddenly remembered that there was actually such a place. “Oh the coma hospital! Of course, I remember it now. How strange that I had forgotten it existed.” Sharra nodded and motioned for Kelly’s father to sit down, looking fleetingly at the corridor and at the sleeping Mrs Kemp and then shut the door.

She glanced casually over at Kelly laying motionless in her hospital bed. “I’ll be truthful with you Mr Kemp. Kelly’s condition is serious. Life threatening in fact. I am an expert in my field and I know that once a patient enters a state like this…” and she indicated Kelly with a nod of her head, “…they rarely come out of it over night, or even within a year!” Ronald slumped into his chair. His face fell into his hands as he wept. Sharra felt absolutely awful lying to him like this, but what else could she do? She had to make it look convincing.

I have a…well, let’s call it a retreat, rather than an institution. It is a place where all such cases I encounter can be placed, cared for, monitored and studied to find out what it is that makes them go into such a…” She searched for the right word, “…hibernating state. It is essential to the patient’s…Kelly’s recovery, that you allow the professionals to take over completely until she comes out of her coma. We have found this is the best way for all the patients and families concerned and leads to the most favourable outcomes.”

She stopped for a second as she noticed the horror in Kelly’s father’s eyes at the thought of not being able to see his daughter. She came over and sat next to him, putting a hand of comfort on his hands now laying limp in his lap. “We send all of our families weekly reports, videos etc. and the minute she comes out of her coma or shows signs of waking up, I can assure you that you will be sent for immediately.” Ronald looked absolutely horrified. “You mean we can’t visit her at all?”

Sharra gently took his hand, “Well, not too often anyway. We will give you a visiting schedule. It really is the best thing for Kelly right now…and your family.”

He nodded mutely, not really sure what to make of the whole thing, but he didn’t question her authority. “Best if you and your wife go home now Mr Kemp and leave the worrying to my team and myself. You can see her into the ambulance if you like and then when she is settled into her new room you can come for a short visit.” Kelly’s father nodded once more and replied quietly, “Can I have a few moments to discuss this with my wife please?” Sharra nodded and moved her comforting hand to his arm, “Of course. Let me know when you are ready and I will call my team to get her into the ambulance.” Again he nodded and Sharra left the room so he could wake his wife and tell her the bad news.

During Kelly’s first day and night in the local hospital, Sharra and Darrow had managed to shift time enough so that they could falsify papers and documents and be accepted into the medical community. They had gone back 20 years and spent it preparing the ground for the moment in time when Kelly could safely and legally be placed in Sharra’s hospital, with her parents’ permission. Then they would be in control of Kelly’s hibernating body.

Dawn Children do not age in the same way as regular people and so the Dawn cousins hadn’t in fact wasted any of their own time playing this cosmic trick on the continuum. Unfortunately they had caused a few minor paradoxes as they changed Earth’s medical history, but it was a small price to pay to get Kelly away from the Earth before she made a few of her own, possibly major changes to the Earth’s history, causing a catastrophic unchangeable paradox, which could end the universe as they knew it.

Sharra stood in the corridor and tapped her foot impatiently. They had spent a lot of time and effort preparing for this moment and she hoped it wasn’t in vain. She hated to think they would end up kidnapping her after all. She hadn’t lied to Ron Kemp when she had said she was an expert in her field and had an institution for coma patients; she had in the last twenty years on Earth established herself as an expert in her field and was most respected in the medical community, as was Darrow as a solicitor. It had to look as natural as possible when Kelly literally disappeared off of the face of the Earth.

Doctor Price strolled up to Sharra, smiled and nodded, “Sharra.” He said in simple greeting. He was a tall man, well over six feet and was a handsome middle-aged gentleman, clean shaven and smartly dressed under his white coat. “It’s always a pleasure to see you. Shame it has to be under such depressing circumstances.” He looked her up and down and laughed pleasantly. “Why is it that you never seem to age?” She shuffled uncomfortably. “You are as beautiful now as the first time I saw you, what, it’s got to be at least fifteen years?” She nodded and blushed authentically. Steven you flatter me as usual.” She really did like this man. Even if he was physically old enough to be her father. She was, with all her time travelling adventures, in effect old enough to be his great, great, great grandmother. Steven returned to his professional tone for a moment, And how is our patient this evening Doctor? Any change?”

No change I’m afraid. I was just preparing Mr Kemp for the fact that I will be transferring his daughter to my own unit.” Steven Price shook his head sadly and followed her gaze into the darkened room towards the couple holding each other in a tight embrace. Steven had seen this scene all too many times before but Sharra had always been there personally to ease the families’ burdens. “It is a most unusual case though Doctor. Have you ever seen anything like it before?” Sharra coughed and pretended to clear her throat. She hated lying. It wasn’t in a Dawn Child’s nature. “Only a few Doctor, and all scattered across the Earth, but I’m sure that once she is under mine and my team’s care in the coma unit she will make a steady recovery.”

Steven smiled once more and gently touched Sharra’s arm in an affectionate and rarely personal gesture. “Of that I have no doubt Sharra.” He reverted to the informal use of her name. She flushed. And then just as he seemed to be about to enter the room to speak to Kelly’s parents, he appeared to change his mind and turned back to speak to her. Sharra’s heart almost skipped a beat. “Eh, Sharra, would you care to join me for a coffee or a late meal before you go back to your clinic?” She tried not to breathe a sigh of relief and felt hugely flattered. She thought back to the Doctor Price she had met over ten years previously. A younger, very dedicated workaholic. He had obviously started to review his priorities. About time he started looking for someone to settle down with, she thought. It couldn’t be her unfortunately, as she wasn’t going to be here for many more months. Shame, she thought sentimentally as she imagined herself briefly as his wife with children running around her. She snapped out of her momentary daydream and searched for an appropriate response. “Oh Steven I’d love to…” He smiled prematurely, “…unfortunately I can’t.” His face fell immediately and she felt awful letting him down like this. “I’m sorry. I really do have a schedule to keep. Perhaps another time.” She added, but didn’t like giving him false hope.

Steven mentally kicked himself. Why hadn’t he taken up the courage to ask her five years earlier when he had really started to feel terribly attracted to her. He felt so stupid for leaving it so long and knew he had lost the chance. She must have someone else – what was he thinking? Of course she had someone else; a beautiful, brilliant woman like her. “Yes of course. I’m sorry. Another time. Of course. You need to get on. What was I thinking?” He stammered and then entered the room. Sharra followed him, looking down at her feet, torturing herself inwardly for having to let him go. She really was attracted to him too. She could only hope and pray that her being in his life hadn’t disrupted his own natural timeline and future with a wife. That would be yet another change to this fragile timeline that was already experiencing so many quantum disturbances.

As the two doctors entered Kelly’s room, her parents stood, holding hands to emotionally as well as physically support each other. Steven pulled himself together and stepped forward to address the couple. “Mr and Mrs Kemp. Doctor Dawn has informed you of our next proposed course of treatment for Kelly?” They nodded and he continued. “I am so sorry that she hasn’t come out of her comatose state at this stage, but I have had the pleasure of working with doctor Dawn for many years and her coma hospital is most definitely the place for Kelly right now. The hospital has an excellent record for bringing comatose patients back to consciousness in the least amount of time and her programme for the rehabilitation of those patients really can’t be faulted. It is a world renowned clinic and you are very lucky to have her at your disposal, right on your doorstep so to speak. I know it is a hard decision to make and that not being able to see your daughter as often as you would like is a difficult thing for the family, but I must reinforce the fact that I personally see this as our best option at this point in time.”

He nodded and stepped forward to shake their hands as they too nodded that they understood the proposal of this next step in their daughter’s treatment. He turned to leave the room after shaking their hands. “I shall leave you in Doctor Dawn’s capable hands now.” He concluded.

Thank you Doctor Price for all your efforts.” Angela said tearfully as he left. She turned to Sharra and whispered, “I know you will do all you can for our daughter Doctor. We will leave her to you now. Please, if there is any change – you will let us know immediately won’t you?” Sharra tried not to show her emotions as the empathy for what this woman was going through really hit her. She thought back to the time she had been harvested from her own family and tried to imagine what it would be like as her mother, to have this beautiful girl ripped from her life so tragically. Of course she couldn’t, not being a mother herself. She was thankful that this was the case and that she could be fairly unemotional and impartial about the whole situation. She reassured Angela that she would treat Kelly as her own daughter and of course that they would be kept up to date with her progress in every minute detail.

With the deal done and with the paperwork signed, Kelly’s parents left the hospital and their daughter in a somewhat subdued mood. Neither spoke to the other as they drove quietly and sombrely home. The silent tears continued to fall down Angela’s cheeks as she sat gazing blankly out of the passenger window at a world she didn’t see. Ron turned to see his wife so obviously in shock and when the car stopped at a set of traffic lights, put a calm, quiet hand of reassurance on hers. He had no need to try and give her any more words of comfort. This simple act said it all and she wiped her eyes and smiled mutely back at him. They had each other and that would have to be enough for now.

Spiritual Warfare and the Doors between Darkness and Light

Published September 3, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

Spiritual Warfare thumbnail

My latest Youtube video on Spiritual Warfare

To watch the video click the link above.  Don’t forget to like the video on youtube, subscribe to my channel and share with your friends.  Thanks guys.  Below is the written version of the content of the video – there’s a little more in the video due to some  ad-libbing… 

What is spiritual warfare in today’s world? What does it look like? Is there even such a thing?

Spiritual warfare is real! The battle is real! I believe that it is for the most part an unseen battle, but it is a real war that is continually going on in the spiritual realms between darkness and light.

I hear you asking, but what is this battle between darkness and light? Spiritually, what does that look like? Well, I believe now, today, more people are seeing that battle playing out in the world. It can seem like we are living in very dark times – right now!

In the bible there is a very colourful description of a spiritual battle…

“Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down – that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

“Now have come the salvation and the power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”

(Revelation 12:7-12)

So the bible talks about the devil and his angels who “lead the whole world astray.” This devil, the serpent in the bible is featured from Genesis through to Revelation…this is the enemy in this spiritual war we fight daily…

…But in our reality, in the now, in our day to day, what does that look like? Well, to me the enemy that hides in the darkness uses very specific weapons in this spiritual war and these are hinged on lies and fear – negative and oppressive thoughts and feelings like depression and anxiety, stress, sickness, doubt, feelings of inferiority, discouragement, loneliness… and also things like pride and greed…

But I think the biggest weapons the enemy uses are guilt and shame.

What does guilt and shame look like and why is it a weapon the enemy uses? I was contemplating this the other day, and I was thinking that if you feel you have to hide something from your loved ones – parents, partner, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, school, work, friends – yourself…

…if you are trying to hide anything, then I wonder if maybe there is something unhealthy going on in your spiritual life – something that is not good for you in mind, body or soul! If you have to hide it, think to yourself – why? What is it that leads you to feel guilty or ashamed of that thing? I am speaking to myself here as well, as I express to understand through the Spirit.

If you are walking with God, why would you need to hide anything?

I am reminded of the story of the Fall in Genesis 3, when Adam and Eve tried to hide from God in the garden because they had eaten the forbidden fruit and were suddenly ashamed of their nakedness. This was because they were now aware of the difference between goodness and evil – sin had entered the perfect paradise that God had made for them.

God asked them – “Who told you that you were naked?”

The serpent had deceived them, but because God had given them free-will, they had the power to choose to do what they had known was forbidden for their own good, and so they chose to listen to the serpent instead of God, who had created them and knew what was best for them. They knew it was wrong, but chose to do it anyway and it was that awareness, that feeling of guilt that the serpent had awoken. I think this was a spiritual awakening, this awareness between good and evil, darkness and light, truth and deception.

Much like when we are teenagers, I thought, when we know what our parents tell us not to do because it will harm us, but we push the boundaries, thinking we will choose to do things our own way because, why not? And sometimes these things can be the start of a slippery slope into dangerous sin that leads to spiritual darkness, like experimenting with smoking for example – what harm can it do? After all everyone does it, right? And then moving on to weed, thinking perhaps, what harm can it do? It’s just a bit of weed? And then another jump and it’s harder drugs! And the boundaries get pushed farther and farther each time…with harmless looking sin that leads to darker and darker, harder to get out of sin…

The spiritual battle is fought in the mind, in the heart and in the spirit; in darkness and in secret, behind closed doors – physical doors and spiritual doors! There are mention of doors in the bible. Jesus himself uses this image of the door to reach us – “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and him with me.” (Revelation 3:20) He even refers to himself as a door or gate – “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and out, and find pasture.” (John 10:9)

He invites us to use these spiritual doors to him – “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

And yet God has reminded me that there are things meant to be kept hidden! The intimacy between Man and Wife for example in (1 Peter 3), an individual’s dreams (Psalm 37:3). There are even moments meant to be just between God and individuals – (Hebrews4:12),(1 John 2:27), (Jeremiah 29:11-14) says – “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” The bible talks numerous times about being hidden in or beneath God’s wings – (Psalm 91:4, Deuteronomy 32:11, Jeremiah 49:22) to name but a few. And even God has hidden things from humanity! In the book of Daniel it talks about God telling Daniel to roll up the words he was told until an appointed future time.

And the mind too has doors; and sometimes those doors are even closed to ourselves. Sometimes emotional trauma is so great that our minds create doors to keep such things safe behind, and these memories can be so traumatic that they cause great hurt, and sometimes those dreaded feelings of guilt and shame that can be so destructive…

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14) And those thoughts and feelings are particularly destructive, I think, when they are created through an act on someone who had no control in the situation; some abuse that has been inflicted on them by another (or sometimes themselves) – people can abuse themselves – but all of these things, these “battles” are, at the end of the day, fought in the mind and are spiritual battles between the darkness and light in our lives. And so sometimes doors can protect us from those destructive thoughts and those emotions coming through and doing damage – but God will never give you more than you can bear! It says in (1 Corinthians 10:13) But sometimes doors need to be opened or kicked in because they can keep you trapped behind them!

So, why do we feel the need to hide? We hide because we feel guilty and are ashamed. Those feelings are there to tell us there’s something we are hiding that maybe isn’t good for us, or perhaps are too intimate to share. And sometimes that’s OK, however, Satan, the devil, the serpent, that enemy who likes to ask us – “Did God really say?” He is a devious, scheming liar. He wants to turn you from God and the light, towards fear and darkness. He wants you to feel so ashamed and guilty that you cower away in the darkness and hide, alone, separated from God and God’s people…

…He is a liar and a thief and “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;” (John 10:10) He wants to steal your joy, kill your peace and destroy your faith. But Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” You see, the enemy will try and trap you with his lies. He wants you to doubt God’s word, but God wants to remind you of his promises, his truth and love…he says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

He promises that, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) He will give you the strength to open those doors or he will open those doors for you!

(1 John 3:8) says, “the reason the son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” He tells us that, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

And of course God promises he will give us the strength and will protect us – “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.” (2 Thessalonians 3:3) Because God loves us and he wants us to have peace in him; “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?” (Romans 8:31)

So how can we fight in this spiritual battle? In his word he tells us to “be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” (Ephesians 6:10-11) He promises to give us the weapons to use in this battle. And these are spiritual weapons – “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-39) What are these spiritual weapons? God tells us in his word…

“Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:11-17)

Finally God continually reminds us that this spiritual battle is not for us to battle alone. “This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” (2 Chronicles 20:15) “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7) “For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the Kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” (Colossians 1:13-14). “On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)

So, I am encouraged and pass on this encouragement to you that through Christ we can conquer all the devil’s schemes in this spiritual battle – those negative thoughts, emotions, temptations, struggles and hardships that we go through daily. He will give you the weapons to fight with and the strength to endure. He will give you the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, which is the fruit of his Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and will fill you with his light that gives you freedom to walk in the darkness of the world – “I am the light of the world.” He says. “Whoever follows me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12) – Because God wants you to live a good life, a life lived to the full (John 10:10) and you can’t do that when you are living under a cloud in spiritual darkness, hiding behind physical and spiritual doors. Let’s kick down those doors together and step into the light my friends…

God bless you all and if you are battling with the spiritual darkness today ask Jesus into your heart right now and let his light guide you into a brighter tomorrow.

The sound of a train in the distance…a poem…

Published August 26, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

From a prompt on the Facebook Poetry Society page – the first line of the poem was the prompt…(Obviously this isn’t a children’s poem but the picture in the book just seemed a good one to include here…)

Image from my children’s book ‘Josh and the Patchwork Engine’ –

The sound of a train in the distance…


Coming or going; it’s on the move…

Full of power, purpose, drive,

never knowing when it will arrive.

Always carrying a heavy load,

burning energy, life on loan.

Pushing on it moves through time,

but pulls creation on behind.

Out of reach too far to catch,

a glimpse, a sound, a moment snatched.

A plume of steam left as a reminder

to be ever-present and kinder,

lest you leave no mark or trace,

to exist without a human face.

Laura Crean. Written 17-08-2020

Zoo Nation – Challenging Normalcy…

Published August 8, 2020 by Laura Crean Author


Zoo Nation’s The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party

What is normal?  Everybody is so busy trying to fit in that they forget that sometimes it’s good to stand out.  That actually we are all so very different and that fitting in a perfectly constructed society sized box is not very easy for most people.  We all have our things to deal with, our problems, our daily struggles that life brings along with the baggage of the mundane.   Dealing with life’s struggles is a part of everyday life, and we all cope in different ways.  Mental health is spoken about a lot more these days, far more than in days gone by, but there is still this idea of what is normal and what is abnormal isn’t there?  Because in society we are speaking about a lot of people who need to get along together to make society work, to have it tick along in a ‘normal’ functioning way! And in actual fact, I am of the mind that the more society tries to bend the people to its will of what is ‘normal’, the more society itself becomes distorted and somewhat mad – “we’re all mad here don’t you know!”  Well – just watch the daily news and I’m sure you will come to the same conclusion as me as to the state of the world!

As you know I have struggled a lot with depression and anxiety in my life, so if I was to compare myself to any of the characters in the show below,  it would probably have to be the White Rabbit and in some ways Alice herself; actually, now I come to think of it, maybe in some ways, we are all like every one of the characters in Alice in Wonderland at one time or another in our lives.  For me, Jesus was my way back to reality.  At least he was my awakening to the reality that made sense to me in a world gone stark raving bonkers; and as a newborn Christian, in keeping with the Alice in Wonderland theme,  when I found Jesus and discovered the bible I was like Alice chasing the white rabbit down the rabbit hole and finding out that my life and reality wasn’t what I thought it was, and didn’t have to be.  In my quiet time with God reading the bible I have discovered that it’s OK to be different.  It’s OK to have anxieties, worries, life baggage, stuff to deal with, etc.  It’s how you deal with it that matters.  The word of God has taught me so much about how to deal with my mental health in a calm, loving, and down to earth way.

I discovered that God loves me for my individuality because he made me that way – Psalm 139 – and he knew there would be anxiety in the world, because, let’s face it, with humans in it, all different, unique and distinct, just trying to make sense of themselves and the reality they find themselves in, how could there not be anxiety.  But I have learned to be still in the chaos, to be still and listen to God – Psalm 46–  And he tells me he is there and that it’s OK, he’s got my back.  And thank him that he does because I certainly would go quite mad without him.  And he has taught me to live in the now – in the present – Mathew 6:34 – not to worry about tomorrow or stress about what has or hasn’t happened in the past, but I keep my eyes on Him and live each day as if it is my day, the only day, each day a bright and shiny day of possibilities and just focus on each moment with joy and peace and purpose in him.

Yesterday actually I was contemplating doing a YouTube video on the subject of Mental Health and being a writer, so I probably will tack that on here too when I have made that.  You see, to write, well for me to write anyway, I believe you have to be “in the zone”, or in the right frame of mind.  And for everyone that is going to be different, but for me, I have to be calm, anxiety and stress-free to be able to write, well to be able to write clearly and concisely anyway.  For poetry that might not always be the case, and some might argue that some writers’ best works are born out of chaos and mental health issues, but what I am saying is that we are all different and we all have mental health, we all have to deal with different challenges daily, some more than others, and it can be really challenging at times, especially if you want to write and express yourself in a way that people can understand.  That’s why I love the performing arts and especially love that my daughter has chosen it has her chosen art form because you can express and draw out the discussion in very unique ways.  I on the other hand seem to be better suited to writing, that’s why I find performance poetry such a daunting thing and so stick to writing poetry and prose.  Art however is another love of mine for freedom of expression as you will know if you follow me.

So here you go, I saw this video this morning and I thought it was an excellent piece of work, very entertaining, first-rate choreography, great set, storyline, character work, and basically tackled this theme of normalcy in an interesting and artistic way.  Just my cup of tea, if you’ll excuse the Alice in Wonderland pun. And as you will know by now about me, my cup always overflows LOL – Psalm 23 –  Enjoy…

ZooNation’s The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party…


Words – blessings and curses!

Published June 21, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

    “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  John 1:1-5.

Words are powerful. They can build people up or they can tear them down – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29.    Words can create or they can destroy. With the power of language you can weave a tapestry of imagination that transcends time, space and matter to share ideas and dreams. To make concrete a thought that can become a building, a city, an ideology, a civilisation. Words become prayers enabling communication with the creator of the Heavens and the Earth, they can lead to soul searching, poetry, literature, education, law, medicine…the list goes on. But words can harm as well as heal. They can take but a moment to be cast, like a stone into a river, where ripples are formed and then affect everything that runs on from that point; they have consequences.

Words are not only used to share thoughts and ideas with others. They are used inside the individual; to talk to oneself, to give a person the power to create or destroy their own self-image. As Paul said in Philippians:“whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8,9.

Yes, a simple word you may think can’t give me power over another or over my own psyche. It doesn’t matter what I say or how I say it, but those words may heal, they may send out a prayer and become a powerful interaction between the faithful and God, but they can also be spells. They cast a spell over the person receiving them, and that can be the most dangerous use of words ever. To curse is to immediately cut someone to the core, using that negative power over someone else. And a curse doesn’t have to be from some witch or wizard that we have given an imaginative picture from a cultural myth of fantasy. Curses are used every day by anyone that consciously chooses to use their words in any way that destroys someone else’s self-image, or puts in another’s mind a doubt, a question or a negative and anxious thought. These are true curses and this is the true power of what magic is. We all use this magic every day. You might not recognise or realise it as magic, but that is all power is, a magical spell cast over another’s thoughts and inner world, which is a reflection of the world woven around them. You may call it by another name, but there is no getting away from the magical power of the word.

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24. The word of God is the word I try and live my life by, because “God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God, and God in them.” 1John 4:16. God’s power is the only power worth wielding and that is why his word – those words he inspired in the bible really are healing; they reflect a beautiful spirit – God’s spirit – and with your choice of words you can reflect this beautiful spirit or reflect a darker spirit. To me, it means living by the principles he sets out in his word. “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates,” Deuteronomy 11: 18-20

And so, yes, your choice of words and how you use them in the everyday have great power and they can heal or destroy… “See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse—the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the Lord your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known.” Deuteronomy 11: 26 – 28. Moses set before the people God’s words – his laws to take into their minds and hearts and live with and live by- “to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him and to hold fast to him” Deuteronomy 11:22. How do we love God? By obeying those laws that keep us doing everything in love that heals, not in fear, by holding power over others with our own destructive words, that can come from a place of fear. Those words can be judgemental, critical, and from a place of unrealised power over the person in receipt of those words, which can be an individual or a community. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1John 4:18.


  If everyone is living by God’s word then nobody can ever really be in a position to judge another, to leave them in fear or anxiety, because only God can judge a person’s character and heart. And he does that by his word – “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12.

What words am I using? Well firstly Jesus’ – “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105 and secondly, my own carefully chosen words in his reflection – “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” I am reminded of the old children’s playground rebuttal to bullies, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me!” Well actually, they do! So be careful how you use them.


how sweet are your words to my taste

Is life just a game? Just a series of lessons? Or is there more to it? Do I need to dig deeper?

Published May 28, 2020 by Laura Crean Author

Is life just a game? Just a series of lessons? Or is there more to it?  Do I need to dig deeper?

If you are a Christian or a gamer or maybe a Christian gamer or just part of the game of life – read on… (also included if you follow the links Sonic the Hedgehog Trailer and other gaming and book links)

It’s OK to say I have experienced a lot of pain and trauma in my life and I need to learn from it and grow, but what does that look like?  If we have to learn something then that implies that the pain and trauma, the suffering and hardship is a teacher, right?  Well, the thing with having a teacher is, you are and I am the students.  And at some point the student has to learn, grow up and move on and become the teacher – so what does that look like?

Well, as I said, if the teacher is pain and suffering, well that’s what the teacher looks like!  That paints a picture in my mind of Jesus on the cross.  And if life is just like a game and a series of lessons to be learned, then life also is a teacher, right?  We are all in this together – the teachers teaching the students and the students becoming the teachers and so the cycle continues…and life may be a game but we are all characters in that game – without the characters, there is no game and the game would have no meaning.

This week I have been at home on annual leave, trying to take stock a little.  Trying to look inwards and see where I am going.  I started off the week worrying about all the things I thought I should be doing while I had the ‘time’ – gardening, house hold chores, writing my novel, catching up with art projects, paying bills…and the list went on!  Until I felt like it was more stressful to be not out working that actually out working.  So I stopped that and I can’t get that lost time worrying back but I can learn from it.

Now, it’s helpful to have metaphors to use to look at ourselves and our journeys, and I’ve used those metaphors in my art and writing as all artists do.  ‘The Realm of the Purple Dragon’ was a way for me to express myself in a time when I needed some healing.  “There is a time and a season to everything under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 – It’s just a children’s book.  A fun, I think clever, light-hearted story for children (for my inner child who needed it at the time).  And aren’t we all just children at heart?

Lately I have been thinking of just abandoning all the creative stuff that I try to ‘put out into the world’ and just focus writing my blogs as a way to talk to my children.  Sending them to them as personal emails, because I have come to the conclusion that this is all that matters at the end of the day after all – our connection to our children.  And in the same way, our connection to our Heavenly Father as his children!  Because as much as we want to think that we make a huge impact on the world and the global consciousness and effect change on a grand scale by our efforts – that’s just our egos talking.  Maybe a very few do have some impact, but in the most part we are all just tiny parts of a big machine.  We are all just players, programmed and running around the program doing what we have been programmed to do.  And unfortunately the world we are living in is computer gaming on steroids!

If you know me you know I like to learn from my dreams.  The symbolism I see in dreams and the world are a language that seems to communicate to me.  I like to think it is a conversation I have with my creator, and prayer I have found, for me anyway, certainly does get responses or answers, some answers are more profound than others, and sometimes it is loud and clear but more often than not it is harder to hear.  But I continue listening all the same.  Well last night I dreamed I had these huge embarrassing hairs on my chin – which does happen by the way, but these whiskers or hairs in the dream were huge, like hedgehog spines!  Bear with me, this is all related to the game metaphor, I swear…

Recently, last week actually, I watched the new Sonic the Hedgehog movie because when I was in my twenties and a young mother, that was the game we played with our children; apart from Spyro, which is what inspired ‘The Realm of the Purple Dragon’.  But sonic was harder to play in a way, even though it was a simple concept, because it is a fast game.  You have to think on your feet as it were and make quick decisions with obstacles.  It is essentially a race.  You run around like a loony collecting gold rings and trying to get to the end as quickly as possible.  But with that fast pace game (another metaphor for our fast paced living perhaps) you can’t slow down to look at the scenery – to observe the beauty of the artistry of the game’s background design.  And sometimes you also miss the hidden places where treasure is to be found!  Maybe that’s part of what the dream was trying to tell me; to slow down and smell the flowers so to speak.  To sit quietly and look for the treasure in this game of life; to talk to the kids, to read my bible and seek wisdom (God’s hidden treasure in his word) to re-charge my batteries and to have some fun; some joy and peace in the moments.

And what of the spines?  Those hard thorn like follicles of hair on my dream self’s chin?  What message is trying to be conveyed here?  Well, these spines represent a beard firstly.  So a beard, what does that conjure up in my mind?  Well, perhaps as we think of men as wearing beards, it must represent masculinity, strength, power and perhaps wisdom – as the longer you grow a beard, the older and wiser you should technically be!  The image of the statue “The Thinker” also springs to mind.  Stroking your chin or beard or leaning on your chin may be an indication of deep thinking; perhaps wisdom again?  Also hair represents a covering, a protection of vulnerability, more power!  –   To be honest I’m not entirely sure what this imagery is trying to tell me!  Maybe I am spending too much time running around like Sonic the Hedgehog trying to keep myself safe, looking too deeply at things?  Trying to do it all myself under my own strength –  maybe I need to look deeper?  After all those hard spines could be used as a weapon – so maybe that is my strength – my wisdom and power!  Well what do I consider to be wise?  Knowledge worth having?  The only knowledge and wisdom I consider of any worth is that found in the word of God. 

And so this week I am listening inwardly at that quiet conversation between my God and myself and paying attention to the signs.  He says, “stop trying to run around like a loony doing things under your own steam, you’ll only burn yourself out!  Remember that I am in control and have the controller in my expert hands.  After all I designed this game and I know where you are going, even if you don’t” and “I am for you not against you”.  “I want you to win!  And you will win.  It’s just a matter of letting me play out the game.”

So as God takes the controller and I run on under his steam not my own; I can sit back and look at the scenery, the awesome design that I am a part of and keep my eyes open for the hidden treasures as I go.  And as I learn the secrets of the game – become the teacher and pass on those little cheats, those little nuggets of wisdom to my children, perhaps I can pass them on to you too through my writing and my art.  That’s my power, the gifts that God has given me after all, so I shall power up and get on with it.  But not this week.  This week I’m on holiday in my garden – well that’s how you have to roll in this lock down world we are living in.  And yes, I will stop to smell the roses!

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