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“Let me carry you…”

Published June 23, 2018 by Laura Crean Author

Ok guys so I know I seem to be focussing on dreams at the moment but that’s what is going on in my life so that’s what you are getting.  Last night I had 2 dreams and I’ll start with the last one first.

Buckle up you’re in for a ride… dreams can lead you somewhere you never thought you’d go!

I was the girl from Pretty in Pink but at first I was pretty geeky. My younger brother was all dressed up in a driver’s uniform, very smart with the hat and everything and he was driving me and my Mother around. My Mother was very beautiful, quite sophisticated and glamorous. My brother was about 13 or 14 but acted very mature. He looked and sounded mature and confident. His driving seemed very reckless to me but we didn’t crash, even though I was quite scared, He was very much in control.

We were stopped by a policeman (to me he looked very sexy) and I was trying desperately to flirt with him but to my embarrassment crashed and burned because I was obviously just a geeky teenager.

Then I decided I wanted to be more mature like my younger brother, I wanted to take a leaf out of his book and had a makeover to make myself seem more grown up, to look older, more sexy.

I started driving myself around looking for cool stuff to do. Went to parties etc – oh! Hang on, first of all I went swimming with my brother and had a period in the pool!  We were the only 2 people in there but it was obviously very embarrassing. Then he told me  or made me aware of it so I climbed out of the pool.  A woman was there and she was horrified. – she gave me a pad to put on in my knickers and saw that I already had a bloody one in there and asked me what on Earth I thought I was doing getting in the pool.  I replied that I had forgotten that I had my period.

Like I said, then I started dressing up and putting makeup on and stuff and started going to parties. And then I kept getting glimpses of the young man who lived next door.  through his windows, and started fantasising about him.

Then finally one day I broke in (actually I keep saying “I ” but actually I was more detached from the girl in the dream – it was more like I was watching her than being her.) She went in search in the house for the young man and her parents (her father first) got sight of her in the window about to go up the stairs. Being outside the house, he could see the whole house, see into all the windows and he saw the young man making love to a woman upstairs in the attic.

The father and his wife opened the door just as the man and his wife (now holding a baby, behind her husband) peeked out from the attic door while the girl was half way up the stairs. The young man and his wife look horrified at the intrusion and the Mother and Father apologise for their daughter and the mother explains she is a teenager going through “stuff “and take her home.

There was also something at the end of the dream about pop–corn. I remember trying to make pop-corn in a pop-corn maker but it exploding out like it being out of control and flying all over the place and being too much for me to handle. A bit like a volcano erupting!

I actually woke up thinking it meant that I was immature in Christ, like one of these “baby Christians ” they’re always talking about. Like I felt like I am looking forward to the excitement of a rapture like event when Jesus comes to take us “home ” but that I am not ready, not mature enough in Christ yet. I’m like that teenage girl who wants to rush into adulthood but misses the point of the “growing up ” part, the “maturing” part.

The dream before had a similar message I think. I was part of a group of children on a camping like trip, not in tents but like a children’s  club type holiday kind of deal. I can’t really remember much of the dream but I do know it was similar, in that, we were trying to have grown up relationships with each other but didn’t know how that worked. At some point there was a man (I think the father figure) in a reclining armchair with a bomb underneath it ready to go off at any moment! I can’t remember why or the context or what happened.

I remember us all having to pack really quickly because we were being picked up but we all had too much “stuff “/”baggage “as it were. Too many clothes, games and toys and “stuff ” – the man picking us up was like the Father figure in the other dream.  He gave us all black bags (dustbin bags) and told us to just shove it all in the bags and be quick about it because it was time to go!

Ok so it all feels very much like the father figure in both dreams is our Heavenly Father – it feels like he is ready to come and get us but we are not (or certainly I’m not anyway) ready for him!

It’s like he can see the big picture i.e. the house in the second dream where he can see into all the windows at once but because we are in the middle of it, we can’t see from the same perspective.- he can see the consequences of our actions.  Like, he can see the immaturity like in both the character sets of both dreams – the children on holiday and the teenage girl – out of control and Ill-prepared.

There is also a lot of flirting with danger – the boy and the car, the girl and the swimming pool, policeman, the attempt to seduce the strange young man in the house, the young and inappropriate relationships; and also the bomb and the pop-corn have a feeling of urgent,immanent danger but also excitement of “something” happening about to explode!

There is also a theme of pretending to be something you’re not or rushing to be something you’re not – grown up! Mature! In control! But in the end, they all needed the Father to bail them out of trouble! I’m thinking here also of the reclining chair.  It’s like, don’t get too comfortable because the Father is in control and he could explode (the bomb under his chair) at any minute! His patience is wearing thin.  And with the packing – I’ll come back to that in a minute.

Note: Like I have said before; I’m not really coping very well at the moment, my life seems very “out of control” and I feel like the dreams are reminding me to stop trying to do things on my own, under my own steam and from my own perspective but to put my trust in my Heavenly Father to yeald  control to him. Give him control of the car, so to speak.

I feel like the wife in the second dream is probably representative of the Holy Spirit as she was the passenger in the car with me but was waiting for me to do what I needed to do. I’m wondering now if maybe the boy was Jesus, because he was driving the car – he was in the uniform ( authority maybe but also in service.)  He was “in control” and even though it felt like his driving was quite reckless, he was actually very calm and controlled, the car making  dangerous risky moves but he was always in control, calm, never crashing – in fact, miraculously making manoeuvres through traffic that shouldn’t be possible. It was me as the passenger who felt out of control!  Also the fact that he was in the pool with me while I was having a period feels a bit like a baptism – the period a marked time in “growing up” – going through the necessary embarrassments and messy part of puberty.

Lastly I just wanted to go back to the father figure in the first dream, when he was telling me to put all our toys, games and clothes in the black bags and hurry up and get in the car with him (which was a people carrier by the way). I feel like the clothes, toys and games are our roles, attitudes, tools and world views (our way of playing or acting in the world) – he wanted me to put all of that away and let him “carry me” (the people carrier), let him be in control and take me where I need to go.  It also reminds me of the scripture;

1Corinthians 13:11-13

“When I was a child, I talked like a child,I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”

What an incredible night of dreams and a message of hope. Our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be ready, he wants us to know him, fully! And to ourselves be fully known by him but also by ourselves. He wants us to be spiritually mature.

Like with the house and windows in the dream and the mirror in the scripture; we cannot see from God’s perspective here on Earth, in the same way God sees us and the bigger picture.

I know how out of control my life is without Jesus at the steering wheel. I ask Holy Spirit to not only be the passenger in my life but to be a partner, prompting me and guiding me like a mother guides her daughter in the wisdom of growing up – the love of God is our proof he wants us to trust him but time is short.

I know I need to put all my childish Earthly baggage away and let God carry me through the world.  There are too many obstacles in the road, too many distractions and temptations – only Jesus knows the way through all that – he is the way, so I must let him take the wheel.

I hope this speaks to someone else, but I am feeling really blessed to be able to get so much personally out of these dreams.

 

Monday 25th June 2018 – I just wanted to add a little update.  The lesson at church yesterday was about Jesus as the good shepherd and of course one of the images is of Jesus as a shepherd carrying the lost sheep. Someone who read my post told me it confirmed my dream to her as a message that had touched her. That is all the confirmation I need that God speaks to me through my dreams and if they speak to just one other person, then sharing has been worthwhile.

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The Cup of Living Waters. 

Published May 13, 2017 by Laura Crean Author

When darkness falls

and you feel you’re all alone

and fear begins to seep into your bones,

when sickness creeps up on you so unawares

and leaves you feeling weak

and ill prepared,

when that time comes;

when you feel you’ve lost control

and only a bitter taste

consumes your soul,

when nothing that you do or say

can make a change

and hopelessness leaves you in a world that feels so strange;

Step forward now and find the home of faith

and call on Jesus – humbly seek his face.

For he has heard your prayers

and seen your tears – and surely he will heal,

for he heals the broken hearted

and binds up every wound – it is his will!

He does not hide his face

from those that call –

Seek him, praise him, honour and revere him,

for he heals all…

…who come to him for strength and joy and life.

You are not forsaken,

God’s presence is like

the surgeon’s sharpest knife –

it cuts through all fears

and transplants love within its place,

such is the awesome mercy of God’s grace.

He will be your strength

and will help you when you call,

have faith because when God is with you – nothing is impossible!

So come and drink from his cup so sweet,

his living waters into your life will seep

and such a medicine will refresh your soul,

God’s love will wash over you

and make you whole.

by Laura Crean

Dream of 1st November 2015 – 4.20 AM (ish)

Published November 6, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

We are all Human Beings having an experience – an experience of ‘being’– and we are all free –thinking individuals with the ability to put those thoughts into a symbolic representation through sound – i.e. the spoken word.  And in some countries we are told we have “freedom of speech”.  But in today’s world we are living in an illusion of freedom, because we are not free to speak those thoughts without fear of ridicule, condemnation or persecution…

…Last Saturday night, or rather early Sunday morning I had a dream.  And in that dream a debate was taking place in a public space, and it was being filmed for television.  It was between several scientific leading authorities.  The chair person asked each of them to put forward their point of view – of course – the nature of a debate – and each gave a very eloquent and rather complicated version of their scientific viewpoint on how they experience the universe through their own “scientific” understanding.

I stepped forward and began to articulate my own viewpoint and with my eyes closed I spoke of the love of God, and his love and my consciousness meeting in an inside space not in an outside space.  The chair of the debate threw out my comments and said they were not relevant to the debate.  I said that a debate by its very nature must accept different viewpoints, but how could there be a debate when ALL the viewpoints are from only one perspective – the “scientific” perspective?  There may be many arguments but at the end of the day all the arguments were from the same scientific viewpoint.  I said that I was still a human being having an experience of “being” in the universe.  I am free-thinking and have the ability to articulate those experiences, so why should my thoughts, my experience, my understanding be any less worthy of a debate – just because I haven’t had the same “education” or got the same “degrees” as another person? She said that it was just not how we did things and that my point of view would not be shown on the television.

As I came out of the debate and out of the dream, God spoke to me and said: “Write this down…”

…Humanity is on the brink of an evolution in understanding – an awakening of awareness.  And that awareness is that Space is not just about what science dictates it is – Space is not the Universe, the Universe is more than just space – it is consciousness, it is the love energy of God, it is a gift given to everyone to experience individually but to share together.  And no one person or group of people should dictate to others about how they should experience or share their experience of “being” in the universe, because by putting the universe in a box, they are putting people in a box and that box is like a prison for the mind.  It is time for the mind to be set free…

Space Between the Universes – “It’s Time to Wake up!”

Published October 14, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

image credit: http://farm2.staticflickr.com/

                                     image credit: http://farm2.staticflickr.com/

seven

It’s been so long since I visited our beach.  This lonely place of dreams and visions.  The moon is staring down at me – again!  Taunting, mocking, laughing at my innocence.  I try to remember my journey.  How I got here.  Have I ever really moved?  I stood on the shoreline and looked as far as I could see.  Why did I always end up here?  I looked and looked at the horizon.  What was out there?  I followed the line to the left and then to the right.  Just an endless sea – still quiet, still calm.  I sat down and looked back at the moon.  It winked at me.  And as I blinked, there he was, standing looking down  at me, smiling the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, that lit up his face and gave his eye a twinkle that seemed to give his whole presence an air of gentle grace.

“I’m glad to see you again.”  He said softly and sat down next to me on the warm sand.  “I was wondering when you’d be back.”

“I’ve been busy.”  I said.

“I know.”  He replied, “So have I.”

“why are you here?”  He suddenly asked.  His now gentle smile curling ever so slightly.

I hadn’t expected that question.  “I don’t know”  I replied, “I suppose it is because I have too many questions.  Too many!  Why am I so confused?”

My Lord sighed and nodded.  “Of course you’re confused.  Your universe is full of strange contradictions and theories  that don’t quite add up.  I have tried to reach you – I have given you everything you need to see the truth clearly…

…I looked at the moon again…

…”but you always complicate matters by looking in the wrong direction.  Stop looking up and fix your eyes on me.”  He said gently.  I took my eyes off of the moon and looked back at Jesus.  His gentle smile turned to calm concern.  “It’s time.”  He said after a short pause.

“Time for what?”  I asked him.

“It’s time to wake up.  You can’t keep coming here.  It’s such a lonely place.  Now – I want to give you a gift.”

“But I like coming here.”  I whispered.”  He nodded and then bent down and scooped up a handful of sand, which trickled through his fingers.

“But I didn’t create this universe – you did.  The universe I created for you is so special.  Made just for you – perfect for all your needs.”  He cupped his hands around the sand in his hand, making a ball and shook the contents and when  he opened his hands again, he held another bubble.  But this one was different from the rest.  It didn’t float delicately in the air.  It was solid, sitting in the palm of his hand.  Inside the bubble I could see a strange  image of the Earth; not as a globe but as a disc, so that I was looking down at it flat – spread out like a two dimensional map, with all the continents in the middle and a ring of sea around the edge and then ice and snow around that, until it touched the sides of the bubble.  In the top part of the bubble were clouds and the sun, moon and stars.  In the bottom of the bubble, just darkness.  I couldn’t understand why he was showing me such a distorted image of the universe.

I shook my head in my confusion.  “Why are you showing me a flat Earth?”

Jesus got up and dusted himself down.  He walked around me, holding the bubble on his palm and looking at it curiously.  “Hold out your hand!”  He commanded, and as I did so, he placed the bubble in it.  It was solid, like glass!  I looked down at the strange disc-like Earth and had a sudden image of Terry Pratchett’s Disc World, riding on the back of a turtle.  It just didn’t make sense.

“Have you had enough time exploring in this place now?  You know that your mind has the free will wander wherever it wishes and I don’t ever want you to stop dreaming.  Keep creating – it is in your nature  to do so.  But it is time to stop looking up and set your eyes on the Earth.  There is enough to think about with your feet set on solid ground

“your universe is so small.  Look around you.  These are your neighbours – get to know one another again.  Talk to each other, help each other.  Stop polluting this delicate system – see how enclosed your Earth is?  How will you escape when you have destroyed all you can see?  I have given you a gift – take care of it.  It is enough for now.”  He took the glass universe back and said to me:  “this one belongs to me.  All the other universes are of no consequence to you; they float on the wind, or bob on the sea, they hide in the cracks and break all too easily – this universe is strong and the only one that matters – perfect because I have made it for you.

“Can I come back and see you again?”  I asked him.

“We’ll see.”  He said.  “Next time I might just come for you.  So do all I have said and live your life to the fullest.  Remember that I love you.  Now love your neighbours and take care of the Earth.  Stop worrying and remember who is holding the universe in his hands.  And I will see you soon.”

Blink

Published October 8, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Blink!

Something has changed!

I opened my eyes this morning and something has changed;

Blink!

Vision clearing…

…There’s something wrong with the picture on the wall –

Is it crooked?

Blink!

Something has changed!

No matter how hard I try I cannot straighten it;

It won’t go back to the way it was before.

Perspective’s altered.

Blink!

Eyes straining.

What is it?

What is wrong with the picture?

It has always been there.

It hasn’t moved.

Why has it changed?

It doesn’t make sense!

Who is the artist?

What is he trying to tell me?

Blink!

Look deeper!

Look with different eyes.

Look at it from above, from the side,

follow the lines, join the dots.

Blink!

Who told me it was meant to be viewed that way?

Was it the shop-keeper?

He sold me a lie!

I have been looking at it from the wrong angle for all these years;

Better to see with the eyes of the artist.

Blink!

Now I see.

The painting hasn’t changed;

I have!

© Copyright 2015 Laura Crean

Jesus, my Lovely Saviour

Published October 8, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Get up!

Published September 21, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

I believe the Lord has been guiding me to study the book of Acts this last week and I came across a YouTube video that enables you to watch a stunning dramatization of this most inspiring book, whilst following along with your NIV bible.  I encourage anyone who learns in a more visual way and may struggle with reading the bible to watch it.  The other books of the New Testament are also available but it is acts I wanted to focus on at the moment.  I will put the video at the end of this post.

It was quite late already by the time I started watching but I had my Women’s Devotional Bible in front of me to read along, and so I started my journey into Acts.  Unfortunately half way through the film (and the book) I fell asleep!

Skipping a couple of days I opened my bible on the study on page 1293 entitled “A Mother’s Prayer” (Read Acts 1:1-14).  The study sets the scene by talking about a woman called Monica and her constant prayer for her son Augustine, who didn’t follow his mother’s faith and led a sinful life.  He did however eventually wake up to Christ and became, of course, a very famous fourth century Bishop.  All his life his mother prayed for him, confident that God would step in and wake her son from his sinful slumber.

In the bible reading we see how Mary must have struggled when her younger sons didn’t have faith in their older brother Jesus and they must have been constantly foremost in her prayers.  And we see how after Jesus ascends into heaven, his mother is among those in the upper room praying along with Jesus’ brothers.  In fact his brother James is one of the first people Jesus appears to.

I really took hold of this lesson as a mother myself, praying for my children daily that they will be woken up to God’s glory.  But as a mother who has faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour, I am very conscious of the need to be gently encouraging – because children don’t always listen to their parents with an open heart, let’s face it – and I don’t want the opposite to happen and push them further from God.

Now every Sunday I get up and go to church and I wake my children up and tell them I am going to church and if they want to come they have an hour or half an hour (depending on when I wake them) to get up, dressed and with it and come with me.  I am a single mother and the girl’s father has them every other weekend (he doesn’t go to church) so as my children keep telling me: “This is your thing Mum not ours!”  I try not to nag but give them the option of coming with me.  Usually I get a few groans of “No Thanks!”  and they turn over and go back to sleep!  However Last Sunday I suddenly had the urge to change tactics (just the once.  I wasn’t planning on doing it every week, but I felt the Holy Spirit stirring in the house making me bold and spurring me on.)  So I shouted up the stairs: “GET UP!  We’re ALL going out to church this morning!”  The usual moans and groans of teenage angst drifted back down the stairs at me: “Muuuum I’m tired. I really don’t want to go – it’s your thing not mine!”  Then I shouted back up the stairs: “It’s not a thing – it’s an opportunity – now GET UP!  You don’t have to come every week but today we’re ALL going.  As it turned out the morning was really amazing and I was so happy that my children (well 2 of them anyway) had come with me and had actually enjoyed the morning too.

Saturday I opened my devotional bible again to Acts and was quite surprised to find the next study on pg 1304 was entitled “Get up!” (Read Acts 9:1-43)  Obviously this immediately made me think of my struggles to get my children up out of bed on a Sunday morning, so I read on with interest.  The study actually started speaking about parents trying to get teenagers out of bed!  I had to have a little giggle at (what I thought) was God’s sense of humour as a father relating to me as a mother.  Then I read on and the bible study asks you to look at the different ways people were told to “Get up!” in Acts 9.

First in (Acts 9:5-6) Saul is knocked to the ground by the light of Jesus’ presence and blinded on the road to Damascus:

          “Who are you , Lord?” Saul asked.

          “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” He replied.

          “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

Later on in (Acts 9:34-35) Peter comes across a paralyzed man:

          “Aeneas,”  Peter said to him,

          “Jesus Christ heals you.  Get up and roll up your mat.”

Immediately Aeneas got up.  All those who lived in Lydda and Sharon saw him and turned to the Lord.”

Then lastly, in (Acts 9:40) Peter is led to the body of Tabitha (a faithful disciple who always helped the poor and had died):

          Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed.

          Turning towards the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha get up.”

          She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up.”

Well as you can imagine the story spread and many people became believers.

I have really been inspired and encouraged this week by all these examples in the book of Acts and it spoke to me of just how different all our journeys are.  As it points out in the bible study, we are all on different journeys, you may need God to knock you off your horse, heal you or resurrect you depending on where you are spiritually.   Which brings me to the end of the week.  Friday I had a lovely catch up with a very dear friend of mine, who has been with me on my journey and who I know has been constantly praying for me.  Somehow she had double booked her morning and another friend of hers also turned up, and the 3 of us had a wonderful morning chatting, eating a lovely lunch prepared by my friend and sharing our testimonies.  It was then that I told my new friend about the day I met our mutual friend and how amazing my encounter with God was that day.  In a way it reminded me of Saul’s encounter (although obviously not as dramatic!) But i was literally stopped in my tracks as I hurried to pass the church and the rather exuberant pastor sitting outside happily inviting people in to join in with a family event taking place.  I was offended by his intrusion into my day and I politely declined with some excuse and hurried across the road.  My eldest daughter, just 4 years old at the time, cried and carried on and on about how she wanted her face painted.  I tried to take her into the local corner shop, thinking to bribe her with sweets to stop her winging.  Well – it was at that point, standing in the middle of a very quiet coastal village, with nobody around me, that “someone” whispered quite calmly, gently but in a demanding way in my ear:

“Turn around!” – which I did.  I turned around in the street to see who it was whispering in my ear and there was nobody there!  My little heart started pounding, I can tell you, at the sudden realization that it had been God!  God had just caught me trying to bribe my 4 year old with sweets NOT to go to church.  I was so stunned and ashamed that I immediately went back to the church, where I met, amongst others, the dear friend I was visiting on Friday.

I would love to tell you that after that amazing encounter with God in the very quiet coastal village of Pevensey Bay, I was a loyal and faithful Christian – I’d be lying!  That was just one small step on my journey to being woken up by God and thankfully he never gave up on me, throughout all my backsliding, and neither did those who continued to pray for me through darker times.  Now I know Jesus was always with me, gently shaking me until I woke up, opened my heart and heard him again.  It’s funny how children have ‘selective hearing’ isn’t it?  Sometimes it isn’t until the circumstances and context of the situation are just right that they suddenly hear what you are trying to say, don’t you think?  It is the same when God is trying to talk to us.

I am happy to report that one of my daughters was given a little shake last Sunday and yesterday (This Sunday) I had no problem getting her up – it seems she wants to be more involved with the church and was very excited to talk to the young visiting preacher who spoke about being a “lighthouse”.

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