Jill-in-the-box – blog about depression and my journey out of it.

All posts in the Jill-in-the-box – blog about depression and my journey out of it. category

Life

Published August 23, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

The breath of life is God’s sweet gift

That we should breathe and we should live

It is in the oxygen that fills our lungs

That fuels the blood within our tongues

And in the blood that life remains

Passion pumps it round our veins

The heart is where our love resides

And in the lifeblood our desires

Life to do and life to be

Life to be lived in its entirety

To be desired and to be shared

With peace, hope, love and joy declared

So live it – it is yours to live

Yours to share and yours to give

Celebrate that you are blessed

And in God’s heart your life takes rest

© August 2015 Laura Crean

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“I Know There’s Something More…” – Nick Vujicic – An inspirational figure for our times

Published April 30, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

If there is anyone in the world today that should be an inspiration to all people, be they young or old, with a physical disability or an emotional one – or not; even if you feel you are doing pretty good in the world today and don’t really have many worries.  But perhaps you strive to do better, you would like to aim higher in life, maybe you think, you know, others may have it better than you and you feel you are lacking…think again – here is a man who really has a reason to be in despair, to give up and just say the world has won.  But does he give up?  Does he live in despair?  No he doesn’t.  Watch his amazing story unfold, be INSPIRED and remember what Nick says: “I know there’s something more…”

An introduction…

Nick is an inspirational speaker.  He speaks from the heart about how God has changed his life.  There are many videos of Nick speaking but here are a couple that really spoke to me…

This one had me laughing like a loony and crying like a baby…

If you don’t take anything else away from Nick’s inspirational messages – remember what he says when he says: If you don’t get a miracle – BE the miracle for someone else!  How awesome is that?  And perhaps give away a few hugs today…

 

Strength of the Volcano – NaPoWriMo Day 29

Published April 29, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Last night I dreamed a volcano erupted.

It was the biggest explosion I have ever seen.

The WHOLE mountain exploded

Into a fiery mega pillar of red hot magma

Reaching right up into space.

It was like the tension in me

Had reached boiling point

And then was released.

People who had been on the mountain

Just evaporated into dust!

Like my old life – and blew away in the fiery wind.

I felt cleansed, refreshed,

Like it was a sign of something new and big

About to change in my life

And I was going to be bold, fierce and strong

Just like that volcano,

And have the confidence to say

I’m not invisible anymore –

HERE I AM!

© Laura Crean 29th April 2015

I AM

Published April 24, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

I’m so sorry you’re sad

She said sympathetically

Through an indifferent powder painted smile

Sad?

I whispered through a veil of misty emotion

Sad…is your goldfish dying unexpectedly overnight

Sad…is saying goodbye to a visiting friend

Who you won’t see for a while

Sad… is missing your favourite show on TV

Because you were late home

Sad…is not what I am…

What I am is almost impossible

To put into words…

I am…lost, starving and thirsty…

Stumbling around like a sheep lost in the wilderness…

Or in the desert

With no direction, no compass to guide me

And no cover from the unrelenting scorch of the burning sun

With no bread to satisfy my hunger

And no water to quench my thirst

I am…in despair

With no purpose – blind, invisible

Unloved and unlovable

Numb from the never-ending storms

That whips my already battered spirit

Into an unrecognizable rag

I am…torn

The leftover wrapping of that beautiful gift

That your mother gave you on your 16th birthday

All that’s left is a crumpled piece of gold and a blue bow

I am…lonely

A withered branch that can no longer produce sweet fruits

Brittle from lack of care

I am…misunderstood

Standing vulnerable in the line of fire on a battlefield

Exposed – a target for flaming arrows and hollow bullets

I am…tired

One who has been in the darkest of tunnels

Where hope has been an abandoned lover

Sitting on an empty, stationary train

Waiting for the lights to come back on

I am there now…on that train

Sitting in the dark

Too weary to get up and search for a way out

Silence roaring like a wind in my ears…

It’s so dark and so quiet that all I can hear is my own heart

Beating, fast, hard – fear creeps in and chains me to the seat…and then

A voice and a light, way off in the distance,

A pinprick at the end of the tunnel

And the voice grows louder

And the light grows brighter…

I…

AM…

I AM…

I AM that I am…

Forever, unchanging

I am the light of the world…

 I am the bright morning star – let me light your path

I am the way, the truth, the life – walk with me

I am the good shepherd – follow me

I am the door of the sheep – the way to freedom

I am the bread of life – eat and be satisfied

I am the living water – drink and quench your thirst

I am the root…

I am the true vine – with me you will become fruitful and multiply

I am your shield – I will protect and reward you

Take heart…

I am the resurrection and the life

I am the Lord your God – take my hand and do not be afraid

I am coming soon…

 

© Laura Crean 24th April 2015

Genesis 15:1,

Exodus 3:14,

Psalm 22 Psalm 23 Psalm 40, Psalm 69, Psalm 102 (he has heard and answered)

Isaiah 41:4 Isaiah 41:13

John 6:35, John 8:12,  John 8:24, John 8:58, John 10: 7-9, John 10: 11, 14, John 11:25,  26, John 15:1 -8

Revelations 1:8, Revelations 1:17, 18 Revelations 21:6, Revelations 22:13, Revelations 22:16

Inspired by – https://www.icr.org/article/500/

A quick commentary on “I AM”

It is a poem that builds on the theme of ‘I AM’ – I AM is what God calls himself “I AM that I am means he is forever and unchanging – eternally God. All of the I AM lines are taken directly from scripture and are in direct response to the needs and suffering of humanity (the I ams in the first half of the poem.) Also taken from scripture but then built on around my own depression and anxieties. The train represents the journey, the tunnel, the turning point. The moment God found me and told me who he is and how he can save me from my despair. The scriptures are scattered throughout the bible, in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. They could be stand alone poems – yes – but they are very much both dependent on each other. The first half can be read as very much set in the now, in contemporary times, and many may relate to any or all of the themes of human suffering highlighted, the second half of the poem comes directly from the bible and so it shows that even with the time span and language difference, God is still answering our calls, they are the same human conditions wherever in time you care to read about them. In this way it confirms that God is as he says – the I AM – forever, unchanging, the beginning and the end, always alive, always working in people’s lives. That is what the poem represents.

 

Web – by Laura Crean – NaPoWriMo Day 14

Published April 14, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Don’t worry I’m not suicidal – just having a bad day!

Web

Expectations – Laura Crean – Poem 13 NaPoWriMo

Published April 13, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

DAY THIRTEEN – Expectations

I guess routine has started to kick in to my mindset today and this is the result…

Expectations
weighing down
on shoulders feeling heavy
Hesitations,
fears and doubts
abound upon the journey
Ramifications
buzzing round
inside a busy head
Complications
rearing up
in expectations’ stead
Obligations
shout out loud
at every single turn
Accusations
pointing fingers
that prod and poke and burn
Situations
shift and change
that lead to still more doubt
Implications
dangling
that seem to laugh and shout
Reservations
of ability
the end is getting near
Applications
now applied
pushing on through fear
Foundations
being freshly laid
to steer a new beginning
Revelations
mark the changes
that they are ringing
Inspirations
clear the fog
and open up the way
Motivations
are the key
to sharpen each new day
Communications
bridge the gap
that expectations overplay
Transformations
now can start
and limitations fall away

© Laura Crean 13th April 2015

The First of Spring – A poem by Laura Crean

Published April 1, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

The First of Spring

 

Day one of my poem a Day for April.  You can join in with me on Goodreads if you like – https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/160293-a-poem-a-day-for-april-2015

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