depression

All posts tagged depression

Blink

Published October 8, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Blink!

Something has changed!

I opened my eyes this morning and something has changed;

Blink!

Vision clearing…

…There’s something wrong with the picture on the wall –

Is it crooked?

Blink!

Something has changed!

No matter how hard I try I cannot straighten it;

It won’t go back to the way it was before.

Perspective’s altered.

Blink!

Eyes straining.

What is it?

What is wrong with the picture?

It has always been there.

It hasn’t moved.

Why has it changed?

It doesn’t make sense!

Who is the artist?

What is he trying to tell me?

Blink!

Look deeper!

Look with different eyes.

Look at it from above, from the side,

follow the lines, join the dots.

Blink!

Who told me it was meant to be viewed that way?

Was it the shop-keeper?

He sold me a lie!

I have been looking at it from the wrong angle for all these years;

Better to see with the eyes of the artist.

Blink!

Now I see.

The painting hasn’t changed;

I have!

© Copyright 2015 Laura Crean

Life

Published August 23, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

The breath of life is God’s sweet gift

That we should breathe and we should live

It is in the oxygen that fills our lungs

That fuels the blood within our tongues

And in the blood that life remains

Passion pumps it round our veins

The heart is where our love resides

And in the lifeblood our desires

Life to do and life to be

Life to be lived in its entirety

To be desired and to be shared

With peace, hope, love and joy declared

So live it – it is yours to live

Yours to share and yours to give

Celebrate that you are blessed

And in God’s heart your life takes rest

© August 2015 Laura Crean

Faith – a walk of individual understanding

Published May 5, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

I don’t think I or any person of FAITH should have to keep battling with those who do NOT share that (PERSONAL) faith.  THAT is how arguments start, that is how wars start, that is how conflict and separation start.  And I just want peace and love – that’s all.  It is nobody else’s business what I PERSONALLY believe, therefore it is not my job to explain, convince or convert another in or to ANY FAITH!  If you have taken a vow as a Priest of any faith then you may disagree, but I am just me – I’m just a woman, with my own daily struggles, just a Mum, I like to think I’m an artist and like to use paint and words to create pictures but I’m not a Priest – I don’t WANT to preach to anyone!  I hate being preached TO –  LOL.  I like to learn and I like to study things that are in my heart to learn about and that includes the Christian faith and the bible even though my terrible memory doesn’t always keep that knowledge in such a way that I can pass it on to others without re-googling!  But that’s me, that’s personal, that’s not you whoever you are.  YOU have faith in what you want to have faith in and I will have faith in what I believe in.  I can only help what I am doing.  I know what I know, I believe what I believe and I have to LIVE with that.  YOU live with YOUR OWN convictions – whoever YOU are.  Yes I like to write about these things, I like to write poems and paint pictures sometimes – that is me expressing my thoughts, feelings, dreams, loves, faith, sharing my journey –  I don’t actually care if you like what I have to say or paint or create – OK – That’s up to you.  I don’t care.  I might feel a little sad about it because it comes from my heart but that’s OK because that’s my business too.  But even though I have started calling myself a Christian because that is my walk, my decision, my faith, it doesn’t mean I hate anyone who doesn’t agree with me or follow me – of course not!  I love you all (especially my friends and family) and I am still interested in hearing about, learning and understanding all other points of view, scientific principles and faiths, because they are all ways of looking at the world and we are all human beings living in this world together.  I want to understand what others believe about their place in the universe and I want others to understand what I believe about my place in the universe – But – we can’t all understand everything – because we are all INDIVIDUAL.  We all have a different starting point, we all have a different perspective, we all see the world through our own eyes, with our own experiences, in our own language, from our own generation, from our own struggles and victories.  And because of this – faith should be just that – faith – a personal understanding – and what is understanding? – a thought – and what is a thought? An insubstantial thing that comes from an image in the mind that only that individual mind can make sense of.  So… I will continue my own walk of faith and I encourage you all to continue to make your own individual walks in life and I look forward to sharing ideas, thoughts, feelings, dreams etc. with you all – my dear friends and family who I have chosen to talk to through this media.  If you don’t like my decisions, well I can’t help that, I can only help my own decisions and I will leave your decisions up to you.  But I still love you all, I still want to talk to you and listen to you and spend time with you – Peace be with us all.

❤ xXx Laura xXx ❤

“I Know There’s Something More…” – Nick Vujicic – An inspirational figure for our times

Published April 30, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

If there is anyone in the world today that should be an inspiration to all people, be they young or old, with a physical disability or an emotional one – or not; even if you feel you are doing pretty good in the world today and don’t really have many worries.  But perhaps you strive to do better, you would like to aim higher in life, maybe you think, you know, others may have it better than you and you feel you are lacking…think again – here is a man who really has a reason to be in despair, to give up and just say the world has won.  But does he give up?  Does he live in despair?  No he doesn’t.  Watch his amazing story unfold, be INSPIRED and remember what Nick says: “I know there’s something more…”

An introduction…

Nick is an inspirational speaker.  He speaks from the heart about how God has changed his life.  There are many videos of Nick speaking but here are a couple that really spoke to me…

This one had me laughing like a loony and crying like a baby…

If you don’t take anything else away from Nick’s inspirational messages – remember what he says when he says: If you don’t get a miracle – BE the miracle for someone else!  How awesome is that?  And perhaps give away a few hugs today…

 

Strength of the Volcano – NaPoWriMo Day 29

Published April 29, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Last night I dreamed a volcano erupted.

It was the biggest explosion I have ever seen.

The WHOLE mountain exploded

Into a fiery mega pillar of red hot magma

Reaching right up into space.

It was like the tension in me

Had reached boiling point

And then was released.

People who had been on the mountain

Just evaporated into dust!

Like my old life – and blew away in the fiery wind.

I felt cleansed, refreshed,

Like it was a sign of something new and big

About to change in my life

And I was going to be bold, fierce and strong

Just like that volcano,

And have the confidence to say

I’m not invisible anymore –

HERE I AM!

© Laura Crean 29th April 2015

I AM

Published April 24, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

I’m so sorry you’re sad

She said sympathetically

Through an indifferent powder painted smile

Sad?

I whispered through a veil of misty emotion

Sad…is your goldfish dying unexpectedly overnight

Sad…is saying goodbye to a visiting friend

Who you won’t see for a while

Sad… is missing your favourite show on TV

Because you were late home

Sad…is not what I am…

What I am is almost impossible

To put into words…

I am…lost, starving and thirsty…

Stumbling around like a sheep lost in the wilderness…

Or in the desert

With no direction, no compass to guide me

And no cover from the unrelenting scorch of the burning sun

With no bread to satisfy my hunger

And no water to quench my thirst

I am…in despair

With no purpose – blind, invisible

Unloved and unlovable

Numb from the never-ending storms

That whips my already battered spirit

Into an unrecognizable rag

I am…torn

The leftover wrapping of that beautiful gift

That your mother gave you on your 16th birthday

All that’s left is a crumpled piece of gold and a blue bow

I am…lonely

A withered branch that can no longer produce sweet fruits

Brittle from lack of care

I am…misunderstood

Standing vulnerable in the line of fire on a battlefield

Exposed – a target for flaming arrows and hollow bullets

I am…tired

One who has been in the darkest of tunnels

Where hope has been an abandoned lover

Sitting on an empty, stationary train

Waiting for the lights to come back on

I am there now…on that train

Sitting in the dark

Too weary to get up and search for a way out

Silence roaring like a wind in my ears…

It’s so dark and so quiet that all I can hear is my own heart

Beating, fast, hard – fear creeps in and chains me to the seat…and then

A voice and a light, way off in the distance,

A pinprick at the end of the tunnel

And the voice grows louder

And the light grows brighter…

I…

AM…

I AM…

I AM that I am…

Forever, unchanging

I am the light of the world…

 I am the bright morning star – let me light your path

I am the way, the truth, the life – walk with me

I am the good shepherd – follow me

I am the door of the sheep – the way to freedom

I am the bread of life – eat and be satisfied

I am the living water – drink and quench your thirst

I am the root…

I am the true vine – with me you will become fruitful and multiply

I am your shield – I will protect and reward you

Take heart…

I am the resurrection and the life

I am the Lord your God – take my hand and do not be afraid

I am coming soon…

 

© Laura Crean 24th April 2015

Genesis 15:1,

Exodus 3:14,

Psalm 22 Psalm 23 Psalm 40, Psalm 69, Psalm 102 (he has heard and answered)

Isaiah 41:4 Isaiah 41:13

John 6:35, John 8:12,  John 8:24, John 8:58, John 10: 7-9, John 10: 11, 14, John 11:25,  26, John 15:1 -8

Revelations 1:8, Revelations 1:17, 18 Revelations 21:6, Revelations 22:13, Revelations 22:16

Inspired by – https://www.icr.org/article/500/

A quick commentary on “I AM”

It is a poem that builds on the theme of ‘I AM’ – I AM is what God calls himself “I AM that I am means he is forever and unchanging – eternally God. All of the I AM lines are taken directly from scripture and are in direct response to the needs and suffering of humanity (the I ams in the first half of the poem.) Also taken from scripture but then built on around my own depression and anxieties. The train represents the journey, the tunnel, the turning point. The moment God found me and told me who he is and how he can save me from my despair. The scriptures are scattered throughout the bible, in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. They could be stand alone poems – yes – but they are very much both dependent on each other. The first half can be read as very much set in the now, in contemporary times, and many may relate to any or all of the themes of human suffering highlighted, the second half of the poem comes directly from the bible and so it shows that even with the time span and language difference, God is still answering our calls, they are the same human conditions wherever in time you care to read about them. In this way it confirms that God is as he says – the I AM – forever, unchanging, the beginning and the end, always alive, always working in people’s lives. That is what the poem represents.

 

Web – by Laura Crean – NaPoWriMo Day 14

Published April 14, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Don’t worry I’m not suicidal – just having a bad day!

Web

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