psychology

All posts tagged psychology

Blink

Published October 8, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Blink!

Something has changed!

I opened my eyes this morning and something has changed;

Blink!

Vision clearing…

…There’s something wrong with the picture on the wall –

Is it crooked?

Blink!

Something has changed!

No matter how hard I try I cannot straighten it;

It won’t go back to the way it was before.

Perspective’s altered.

Blink!

Eyes straining.

What is it?

What is wrong with the picture?

It has always been there.

It hasn’t moved.

Why has it changed?

It doesn’t make sense!

Who is the artist?

What is he trying to tell me?

Blink!

Look deeper!

Look with different eyes.

Look at it from above, from the side,

follow the lines, join the dots.

Blink!

Who told me it was meant to be viewed that way?

Was it the shop-keeper?

He sold me a lie!

I have been looking at it from the wrong angle for all these years;

Better to see with the eyes of the artist.

Blink!

Now I see.

The painting hasn’t changed;

I have!

© Copyright 2015 Laura Crean

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Get up!

Published September 21, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

I believe the Lord has been guiding me to study the book of Acts this last week and I came across a YouTube video that enables you to watch a stunning dramatization of this most inspiring book, whilst following along with your NIV bible.  I encourage anyone who learns in a more visual way and may struggle with reading the bible to watch it.  The other books of the New Testament are also available but it is acts I wanted to focus on at the moment.  I will put the video at the end of this post.

It was quite late already by the time I started watching but I had my Women’s Devotional Bible in front of me to read along, and so I started my journey into Acts.  Unfortunately half way through the film (and the book) I fell asleep!

Skipping a couple of days I opened my bible on the study on page 1293 entitled “A Mother’s Prayer” (Read Acts 1:1-14).  The study sets the scene by talking about a woman called Monica and her constant prayer for her son Augustine, who didn’t follow his mother’s faith and led a sinful life.  He did however eventually wake up to Christ and became, of course, a very famous fourth century Bishop.  All his life his mother prayed for him, confident that God would step in and wake her son from his sinful slumber.

In the bible reading we see how Mary must have struggled when her younger sons didn’t have faith in their older brother Jesus and they must have been constantly foremost in her prayers.  And we see how after Jesus ascends into heaven, his mother is among those in the upper room praying along with Jesus’ brothers.  In fact his brother James is one of the first people Jesus appears to.

I really took hold of this lesson as a mother myself, praying for my children daily that they will be woken up to God’s glory.  But as a mother who has faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour, I am very conscious of the need to be gently encouraging – because children don’t always listen to their parents with an open heart, let’s face it – and I don’t want the opposite to happen and push them further from God.

Now every Sunday I get up and go to church and I wake my children up and tell them I am going to church and if they want to come they have an hour or half an hour (depending on when I wake them) to get up, dressed and with it and come with me.  I am a single mother and the girl’s father has them every other weekend (he doesn’t go to church) so as my children keep telling me: “This is your thing Mum not ours!”  I try not to nag but give them the option of coming with me.  Usually I get a few groans of “No Thanks!”  and they turn over and go back to sleep!  However Last Sunday I suddenly had the urge to change tactics (just the once.  I wasn’t planning on doing it every week, but I felt the Holy Spirit stirring in the house making me bold and spurring me on.)  So I shouted up the stairs: “GET UP!  We’re ALL going out to church this morning!”  The usual moans and groans of teenage angst drifted back down the stairs at me: “Muuuum I’m tired. I really don’t want to go – it’s your thing not mine!”  Then I shouted back up the stairs: “It’s not a thing – it’s an opportunity – now GET UP!  You don’t have to come every week but today we’re ALL going.  As it turned out the morning was really amazing and I was so happy that my children (well 2 of them anyway) had come with me and had actually enjoyed the morning too.

Saturday I opened my devotional bible again to Acts and was quite surprised to find the next study on pg 1304 was entitled “Get up!” (Read Acts 9:1-43)  Obviously this immediately made me think of my struggles to get my children up out of bed on a Sunday morning, so I read on with interest.  The study actually started speaking about parents trying to get teenagers out of bed!  I had to have a little giggle at (what I thought) was God’s sense of humour as a father relating to me as a mother.  Then I read on and the bible study asks you to look at the different ways people were told to “Get up!” in Acts 9.

First in (Acts 9:5-6) Saul is knocked to the ground by the light of Jesus’ presence and blinded on the road to Damascus:

          “Who are you , Lord?” Saul asked.

          “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” He replied.

          “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

Later on in (Acts 9:34-35) Peter comes across a paralyzed man:

          “Aeneas,”  Peter said to him,

          “Jesus Christ heals you.  Get up and roll up your mat.”

Immediately Aeneas got up.  All those who lived in Lydda and Sharon saw him and turned to the Lord.”

Then lastly, in (Acts 9:40) Peter is led to the body of Tabitha (a faithful disciple who always helped the poor and had died):

          Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed.

          Turning towards the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha get up.”

          She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up.”

Well as you can imagine the story spread and many people became believers.

I have really been inspired and encouraged this week by all these examples in the book of Acts and it spoke to me of just how different all our journeys are.  As it points out in the bible study, we are all on different journeys, you may need God to knock you off your horse, heal you or resurrect you depending on where you are spiritually.   Which brings me to the end of the week.  Friday I had a lovely catch up with a very dear friend of mine, who has been with me on my journey and who I know has been constantly praying for me.  Somehow she had double booked her morning and another friend of hers also turned up, and the 3 of us had a wonderful morning chatting, eating a lovely lunch prepared by my friend and sharing our testimonies.  It was then that I told my new friend about the day I met our mutual friend and how amazing my encounter with God was that day.  In a way it reminded me of Saul’s encounter (although obviously not as dramatic!) But i was literally stopped in my tracks as I hurried to pass the church and the rather exuberant pastor sitting outside happily inviting people in to join in with a family event taking place.  I was offended by his intrusion into my day and I politely declined with some excuse and hurried across the road.  My eldest daughter, just 4 years old at the time, cried and carried on and on about how she wanted her face painted.  I tried to take her into the local corner shop, thinking to bribe her with sweets to stop her winging.  Well – it was at that point, standing in the middle of a very quiet coastal village, with nobody around me, that “someone” whispered quite calmly, gently but in a demanding way in my ear:

“Turn around!” – which I did.  I turned around in the street to see who it was whispering in my ear and there was nobody there!  My little heart started pounding, I can tell you, at the sudden realization that it had been God!  God had just caught me trying to bribe my 4 year old with sweets NOT to go to church.  I was so stunned and ashamed that I immediately went back to the church, where I met, amongst others, the dear friend I was visiting on Friday.

I would love to tell you that after that amazing encounter with God in the very quiet coastal village of Pevensey Bay, I was a loyal and faithful Christian – I’d be lying!  That was just one small step on my journey to being woken up by God and thankfully he never gave up on me, throughout all my backsliding, and neither did those who continued to pray for me through darker times.  Now I know Jesus was always with me, gently shaking me until I woke up, opened my heart and heard him again.  It’s funny how children have ‘selective hearing’ isn’t it?  Sometimes it isn’t until the circumstances and context of the situation are just right that they suddenly hear what you are trying to say, don’t you think?  It is the same when God is trying to talk to us.

I am happy to report that one of my daughters was given a little shake last Sunday and yesterday (This Sunday) I had no problem getting her up – it seems she wants to be more involved with the church and was very excited to talk to the young visiting preacher who spoke about being a “lighthouse”.

Life

Published August 23, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

The breath of life is God’s sweet gift

That we should breathe and we should live

It is in the oxygen that fills our lungs

That fuels the blood within our tongues

And in the blood that life remains

Passion pumps it round our veins

The heart is where our love resides

And in the lifeblood our desires

Life to do and life to be

Life to be lived in its entirety

To be desired and to be shared

With peace, hope, love and joy declared

So live it – it is yours to live

Yours to share and yours to give

Celebrate that you are blessed

And in God’s heart your life takes rest

© August 2015 Laura Crean

Dream Diary – A very personal dream about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ

Published July 7, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Well this was a difficult dream to experience and it’s a truly emotional one to record and publish.

I dreamed I was with my ex husband and we were back together, which is not likely as we are happily divorced and he has a new life with his new family, but anyway in the dream we were together again.  There was actually quite a lot going on in this dream before the bit I’m recording but most of it faded quickly and I don’t think it was too important. I remember at one point there was a book signing event and some very strange scenes with giant insects.  Anyway – at the end of the dream we were in a car and it was early evening and the stars were all out, it was a beautiful clear night and as I stepped out of the car I was admiring how bright and full the canopy of stars was when suddenly one star got brighter and then turned into a dove, which flew down to Earth in my sight, and then all the stars, one by one, started to just blink out of existence.  I was standing half in and half out of the car, so I leaped out of the car and ran with my ex husband into where my parents were and everyone started panicking and I started screaming at everyone, “It’s happening – Jesus is coming!”  and my ex husband was saying in a stunned voice “Can you pray with me?” and my Mum looked really panicked and scared and started shouting at me – “Why didn’t you tell me he was real and really going to come?” I said: “I did!” Choking back tears and my Dad was saying quietly, “What do we do?”

So by this time I’m really scared for everyone who doesn’t know Jesus and doesn’t know about him and I start shouting: “You need to call out to him NOW!  Quickly – call out to Jesus  and tell him you believe in him, confess your sins to him, tell him how sorry you are, thank him for dying on the cross for your sins and ask him to save you now!”

And they all just stood there staring at me, and I’m panicking as all the stars are continuing to disappear.  Then suddenly, quite bizarrely, as the last stars blink out, instead of going dark it becomes really, very bright, brighter by far than the day and I start praying FOR them and demanding: “Pray WITH me!”  But one lady starts scoffing  and telling my Mother lies about Jesus and I’m weeping and trying to pray really loud to drown her out.  And then my Mother turns into a little girl as she tries to pray but doesn’t understand and they don’t KNOW Jesus and say weird and terrible things about him, even though they are trying to pray – they are praying for the wrong reasons and they don’t know what they are saying and aren’t really believing the truth of the situation they are in.  I start really, really praying and asking God to please forgive them because they don’t understand and they just don’t realize what they are saying and then I wake up really weeping into my pillow.

I can still feel the absolute awe of what was happening – everyone was amazed and terrified at what was happening.  One part of me was silently praising Jesus for his return but my heart was just breaking and my fear was for my family not knowing Jesus and not understanding what was about to happen.  I’m still literally in shock about this dream, I was shaking for ages after woulds.  The emotions of this dream were the hardest I have ever endured.  I don’t know how my family would take this dream if they read this and that’s hard too.

WHY should I label myself a CHRISTIAN?

Published May 6, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Right now I feel like I am having to fight for my right to call myself a Christian. I feel God speaking to me recently through my interactions with others, so I am sharing.  Some people both Christians AND non Christians may not like it, but to be honest I don’t care. I am trying to get on with my own spiritual journey and I have had trouble over the years BELIEVE me trying to justify to MYSELF why I would want to be called a Christian; and so whilst I have been trying to explain my point of view to other people just lately – I feel it has just been God speaking to ME. Why should I label myself a Christian? This is what I have to say…

I think you are just focusing on that word far too much, you are worrying about it, obsessing over it. yes it is a label, it is a NAME – but it is just a word to describe the body of Christ – his people and – how you see yourself. You ARE you and God made you YOU, the individual. He gave you an individual fingerprint and an individual personality and he stamped HIS LOVE for YOU, your individuality on your heart. He died for YOU. And he wants YOU to come to him “just as you are” – as YOU are – he doesn’t want a carbon copy “Christian” He wants YOU with all your individual quirks and lovely self – but he wants you also to be a part of HIS “body” which is his people, his church – his “CHRISTIAN” people – a label WE give for the BODY AND BRIDE of CHRIST that sets us apart as his most special, beautiful people that he has called INDIVIDUALLY through each of our hearts. We need to have a name to link us to God and what better name than that of the one who gave his life so that you might live forever! I am pouring all of this out of my heart and I feel like it is God writing this right now. I feel maybe he would be afraid that you are missing the point! The point is Jesus. We are not Jews, we are not Muslims, we are not Buddhists, we are not New-~Age crystal worshippers – we might understand about where some of this stuff is coming from but we can see it as being a part of the stuff that goes on in the physical world that God says – yes it’s all real, it’s all valid as in symbolic for certain things but don’t worship it – worship me through my son who I have given for YOU so that you will know how special YOU are to me. We are not all those other groups – those labels – we are CHRISTIANS because we are in CHRIST we are re-born in his image. I can’t keep going round and round trying to make you see through my eyes – I want that label – I WANT to be a Christian; I don’t want to be a Jew like my Mum’s family, I don’t want to be a Buddhist BUT I understand where my Mum is coming from because the old ways LED to the new ways, the NEW testament – that Jesus is the way, the truth, the LIFE. I understand the ways of Buddha and I think Jesus did too; so I meditate as I have always done, but now I meditate with scripture in my heart so that I can close my eyes and meet God in that quiet place, really go inside myself and come into his presence. I understand about the UFO and alien culture and I follow what’s going on there because I believe it is leading to the end days and they are part of the angelic battle – but I don’t worship them, I worship Jesus for saving us from the devil’s plan! To lead us away from God! So I call myself a Christian – a name Jesus would not have called himself – he was a Jew but he said the old ways were DEAD which is why he had to die, to bring us a new way THROUGH HIM and yes we probably could have labelled that Jesus movement in any way – but WE – his church, his BODY labelled it after his name so that we would always remember that through CHRIST EVERYTHING is possible and only through him can we live FOREVER! If you don’t believe that then I’m just spitting words into your face and not into your heart and I can do no more to say how I feel about it. This is how I feel and how I feel GOD is talking to me and through me for YOU. But if you don’t want to label yourself as Christian that is STILL YOUR choice – nobody is going to hate you for it – I love you, God loves you, stop worrying about a LABEL a WORD and get on with getting to know HIM.

Faith – a walk of individual understanding

Published May 5, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

I don’t think I or any person of FAITH should have to keep battling with those who do NOT share that (PERSONAL) faith.  THAT is how arguments start, that is how wars start, that is how conflict and separation start.  And I just want peace and love – that’s all.  It is nobody else’s business what I PERSONALLY believe, therefore it is not my job to explain, convince or convert another in or to ANY FAITH!  If you have taken a vow as a Priest of any faith then you may disagree, but I am just me – I’m just a woman, with my own daily struggles, just a Mum, I like to think I’m an artist and like to use paint and words to create pictures but I’m not a Priest – I don’t WANT to preach to anyone!  I hate being preached TO –  LOL.  I like to learn and I like to study things that are in my heart to learn about and that includes the Christian faith and the bible even though my terrible memory doesn’t always keep that knowledge in such a way that I can pass it on to others without re-googling!  But that’s me, that’s personal, that’s not you whoever you are.  YOU have faith in what you want to have faith in and I will have faith in what I believe in.  I can only help what I am doing.  I know what I know, I believe what I believe and I have to LIVE with that.  YOU live with YOUR OWN convictions – whoever YOU are.  Yes I like to write about these things, I like to write poems and paint pictures sometimes – that is me expressing my thoughts, feelings, dreams, loves, faith, sharing my journey –  I don’t actually care if you like what I have to say or paint or create – OK – That’s up to you.  I don’t care.  I might feel a little sad about it because it comes from my heart but that’s OK because that’s my business too.  But even though I have started calling myself a Christian because that is my walk, my decision, my faith, it doesn’t mean I hate anyone who doesn’t agree with me or follow me – of course not!  I love you all (especially my friends and family) and I am still interested in hearing about, learning and understanding all other points of view, scientific principles and faiths, because they are all ways of looking at the world and we are all human beings living in this world together.  I want to understand what others believe about their place in the universe and I want others to understand what I believe about my place in the universe – But – we can’t all understand everything – because we are all INDIVIDUAL.  We all have a different starting point, we all have a different perspective, we all see the world through our own eyes, with our own experiences, in our own language, from our own generation, from our own struggles and victories.  And because of this – faith should be just that – faith – a personal understanding – and what is understanding? – a thought – and what is a thought? An insubstantial thing that comes from an image in the mind that only that individual mind can make sense of.  So… I will continue my own walk of faith and I encourage you all to continue to make your own individual walks in life and I look forward to sharing ideas, thoughts, feelings, dreams etc. with you all – my dear friends and family who I have chosen to talk to through this media.  If you don’t like my decisions, well I can’t help that, I can only help my own decisions and I will leave your decisions up to you.  But I still love you all, I still want to talk to you and listen to you and spend time with you – Peace be with us all.

❤ xXx Laura xXx ❤

The Fruit of the Spirit – A hard lesson (I was whacked round the head with a rotten banana – LOL)

Published May 4, 2015 by Laura Crean Author

Some Christians need to get down off their high horses and look at their attitude – feeling sad about how people have talked to me recently.  And because of that I had a bit of a rant on Facebook.  Shouldn’t have done that – BUT – it taught me a lesson…

I had had a bad time with the way some Christians had been interacting with me and so I had a rant.  A new Christian friend had posted a video on my wall – with good intentions; she thought it was funny and wanted to share it with me.  But I was nursing some resentment about my interactions with a few people and the video made me even madder LOL – this is the video first off…

The video upset me and I told her I didn’t like it and actually I found it quite offensive and then said:

I can see what he’s saying – an yeah the world’s crazy but you know what – there’s a fine line between saying the Devil’s in the world and saying all of mankind is stupid! Not all science or ‘New age beliefs’ (whatever that is) are at odds with Christianity you know! I don’t know, I do wonder if we are living in an age of too many polarities – you’re either this or that – no! That’s not right. Maybe I’m just feeling cynical this evening. I’ve had a great day at bible by the beach – but I keep being treated very dismissively by some “Christians” and quite frankly it’s starting to really …me off – I thought patience was a virtue! There’s nothing worse than people cutting you off when you are trying to talk to them! Like you are beneath them or something. Well, I’m starting to see this a LOT and usually by well known Christians too! So what does that say? I feel God is speaking to me through the bible and my everyday interactions with people and the world – but today I feel certain Christians need to get down off their high horse and look at their attitude because they get people’s backs up. We are all living in this world together aren’t we? Jesus went where the people are – you’re not going to win people over being snobby, know it all preachy, 2 faced… OK Rant over – sorry about that – having a vent!

But what happened is – she took my venting in the wrong light and started saying this is why she doesn’t want to be labelled as a Christian and how it’s just another belief and with each line of her response I could feel her moving further away – distancing herself – running away.  And then I felt as if God was slapping me round the face with the fruit of the spirit – saying see!  This is why you have to be what you want to see in others!

And I was like – Oh my goodness – what? I AM a Christian, don’t get me wrong! I love Jesus and I believe he died on the cross for me (for MY sins) it’s more than just a belief and I HAVE had the Holy Spirit working in my life – and you know I’ve had those miracles because I told you about them. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I’m not a Christian, and things in this world, people in this world who are distracted from God’s purpose that upsets me and infuriates me but what I’m angry with is Christians who think they are above every one else. There are always people who think they are better than the average person – that’s got nothing to do with being a Christian or someone of another faith or no faith – that’s just human nature! LOL I think I’m more upset with them because they ARE Christians and because as I’m getting closer to Jesus in my own walk through reading the bible daily etc. I feel close to him and then some Christians come along and pollute that. By not expressing the fruit of the spirit in their own interactions. .

I tried to find a little video just listing the Fruit of the Spirit to demonstrate them and found this fun one:

Then after thinking about it – this is how I felt:

So when I’m ignored, put down, not welcomed, dismissed by “Christians” I don’t say – oh no Christianity must be wrong, God isn’t here in this walk and the world is better!! NO! I say – these people who call themselves Christians are not demonstrating the Fruit of the Spirit and therefore they are not being a good example of what Christ wants to see in their Spirit – all of the above! When I come away feeling like that – I’m angry – but at the same time I am not angry at God – I’m angry at those people for not staying true to Jesus’ teachings of the Fruit of the Spirit and I have to pray that God give me MORE of those = LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL so that I can stand in truth myself.

Now I feel bad that I have not demonstrated it by getting angry, venting and putting doubt in my friend’s mind that Jesus IS the way, the, truth, the life.  God REALLY wanted to teach me a lesson today.

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