I seem to spend most of my time here, in this meditative state – this space between the universes, standing on the shore line of my consciousness, gazing out at the horizon of infinity. I wonder what lies beyond that horizon, the edge of my unconscious – is there anything beyond that line? I look around at the handiwork of my creation, my fictitious bubble of escape – my sanity sanctuary – I breathe the unreal air, warmed by a sun that exists only in my mind’s eye. I taste the salty breeze drifting across the surf and feel its sting on my imagined sun burned face. I turn to look up the beach to see if he is coming. I don’t like to wait too long after my feet touch down on the warm sands before I see his shimmering figure in the distance walking towards me. My heart jumps, he is coming to meet me – only me – nobody else – because this is my place, my creation, my retreat, my temple to sit in and talk to God. This is my space between the universes…
I feel my spirit fluttering as his hand is raised in greeting, the brightest smile you could ever see, lighting up his eyes with laughter and love. And then he is there right in front of me, arms out ready for the embrace. I fall into his warm arms that envelope me in security and joy, compassion and strength. I close my eyes for a moment waiting for the kiss my cheek anticipates. And there it is that little tactile testament of his love for me, here on our beach. My God, who never keeps me waiting, always comes when I call, comforts me when I am sad, lifts me up when I am low and believes in me and loves me unconditionally. But how can this be? How did I find this place and when did I start meeting with God in this surreal dimension of divine dreams?
Well I shall tell you – I shall share with you those moments of our meeting – my God and I – sometimes in dreams of clear unfiltered clarity and sometimes misty and confused images of nightmare and fear. Was it God that was with you in those moments – you may ask or was it the devil? I don’t think it matters how you define it or even if it can be defined? Maybe I am completely delusional. You may well think so when I start to talk about the other strange visions I have encountered on my journey to the space between the universes; have I witnessed angels? Demons? Fairies? Aliens? Yes to all and truth is far stranger than fiction.
I have searched my mind for the answers to universal mysteries that manifest in my reality – but what is my reality? Is it the same as your reality? Can I see what you see? Can you feel what I feel? Have you experienced the touch of my God in your dreams? Why? Why do I escape to an unknown dimension that only I can see? When you see that I am trapped in a world of fears and anxieties, afraid to walk alone in the real world, the street outside my door, to talk to people unashamed and confident like everything is OK – Why do I escape inward? Because outside is too hard for me to cope with; I feel awkward, alone, judged. Is it any wonder I get lost in deluded daydreams and night-time flights of fancy?
My God smiles and wipes away a tear that starts to fall, leaving a dirty streak.
“I will always be here for you, my love, but you must return now and awake!”
I don’t want to go, I think sadly and I look out at the ocean glittering in the setting sun, “I will still be here tomorrow” he whispers. He opens his hand and my tear sits in his palm. He brings it up to his mouth and blows softly. The tear, my tear turns into a bubble and floats away into a mist that is forming across the water. As I feel myself returning to the ‘real world’ at least to this reality, I see in the distance that the bubble is joined by many thousands of bubbles.
“What is that?” I ask dreamily as my mind starts to join the ocean fog,
“new universes being born” God answers.